Part of me doesn’t want to have kids, because there’s no way this vagina and these hips are going to snap back into shape after queefin’ out eight pounds of fetus. On the other hand, if I don’t have kids, who’s gonna take care of me when I get old? I’m fine with dying alone in a ditch, I just want it to be a nice ditch, right outside the $5,000,000,000 nursing home I escaped because I’m 86 and can’t behave. 92-year-old Anna Mae Blessing, in that case, is my fucking role model…but in a more murderous sense.
According to the BBC, Anna Mae Blessing shot and killed her 72-year-old son (whose name is being withheld) after he planned on dumping her into a nursing home. Considering that mom’s been pooping in diapers for years, and he’s at the age where he’s about to start, I can’t blame the guy – living with your mom when you’re 25? Pathetic. When you’re 72? Homicidal – but you’d think that the son would’ve offed Blessing instead of the other way around.
Anna Mae Blessing reportedly confronted her son in his bedroom with two concealed firearms hidden in her robe pockets. The pair argued over whether she’d be sent to a nursing home or not, followed by Blessing shooting him in the neck and jaw:
Mrs Blessing then pointed the gun at her son’s 57-year-old girlfriend, who managed to wrestle it away and throw it into a corner of the room.
She pulled out a second pistol, which she told police her late husband had given to her in the 1970s.
The girlfriend managed to knock this one out of Mrs Blessing’s hands, too, before escaping and calling the sheriff’s office.
The son was found dead when police arrived, with Blessing resting in a reclining chair in her bedroom. She reportedly said “You took my life, so I’m taking yours,” as she was escorted out of her son’s Arizona home.
Anna Mae Blessing was charged with first-degree murder, aggravated assault, and kidnapping. Her bail was set at $500,000, which is nowhere near high enough if you ask me. You saw her mugshot, didn’t you? That woman looks like she’s been stealing kidneys and eating livers for the past five decades. Sure I can understand not wanting to live in a nursing home, but come on – you murder your son WITHOUT his girlfriend present, duh. She may look scary as fuck, but luckily there aren’t enough brains in her head to get me worried…assuming I never broach the topic of nursing homes to her, at least.