“Mankind never stoops quite so low as when it commits a crime against an animal,” someone who’s really smart and stuff probably said at some point in history. But a couple of “graffiti artists” in Baltimore, Maryland, ignored these wise words, presumably because cruelty to animals is one of the few laws that Baltimore hasn’t had to deal with lately.
The vandals broke into a local petting zoo and tagged a sow and each of her 11 piglets. Luckily, the animals weren’t harmed since they were sprayed with a safe, antiseptic spray the vandals found in a barn on the property.
Police and the petting zoo’s owner suspect the perpetrators may have been trying to convey a message of some sort, although since local public high schoolers are probably involved, no one can decipher the spelling or grammar.
How do we know students committed the vandalism? Was it determined as the result of time-honored police tactics, like measuring the depth of the perpetrator’s footprints to determine their height, or running a DNA sample from a stray hair they found in the paint?
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No, the vandals spray painted “URBANA RULES” on a nearby sign, and Urbana is the name of a local school. Suddenly, our nation’s low SAT scores and inability to compete with China makes a lot more sense. (Source)