Girl Accidentally Goes On Date With 97-Year-Old Man With Strong Pickup Game

We’ve all been on bad dates. My worst date involved a Golden Corral (Protip: always keep your expectations low, even if he says “We’re going to this place I found on Yelp, it had five stars!”) and a speeding ticket on the highway because the guy blew past a state trooper going 95 trying to show off how fast his car could go. He drove a red Chevy Malibu. Neither I nor the officer were impressed.

But I’ve never been on a date where the guy wound up being 97 years old. That honor is reserved solely for Priya-Alika Elias, who goes by Priya_ebooks on Twitter:

To be fair to Priya, I wouldn’t have been suspicious either; most people over 90 are dead, so what are the chances a re-animated corpse decided to waste time looking for love on OKCupid? It was just her luck that she found the ONE dead body that decided he wanted to get laid:

Sadly, this was most likely the highlight of Priya’s night, as everything goes immediately downhill from there:

Eventually Priya manages to relax around the guy…

…but quickly finds out he is not the kindly old grandpa she thought he was:

When in doubt, offer to eat pussy. Power moves only, dude doesn’t have any time to waste with death almost literally knocking at his door.

While this encounter would’ve been enough to turn most people off from online dating, Priya says she eventually waded back into the dating pool but that she’s glad people thought her horror story was funny. “I’m glad it provided some amusement to people,” she told Metro. “I didn’t tell my friends because it was too embarrassing.”

What’s your dating horror story? Let us know in the comments!