Nightmare Casting: If Hollywood Remade Ghostbusters With Dudes Instead

Since it’s the dawn of a new year, here’s just an idea of what kind of Ghostbusters movie, specifically Ghostbusters 2, we probably would have received had Hollywood cast male actors instead. Ghostbusters 2 was set during New Year’s Eve if you don’t recall that part of your nerd brain.

1. Peter Venkman played by Ashton Kutcher

Oh, you think they’re going to NOT get someone handsome to play the lead Ghostbuster? Riiiiiight.

2. Ray Stantz played by Adam Sandler

Studios love Sandler, it’s just a fact of life. And playing second fiddle to a huge franchise is probably something he would not only be offered…but worse…say yes to.

3. Winston Zeddemore played by Tyler Perry

Now that Tyler Perry has invaded your other favorite childhood franchise with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sequel, Ghostbusters might just be right up his agent’s alley. Leslie Jones ain’t looking so bad now is she.

4. Egon Spengler played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Your stomach is starting to churn now, isn’t it.

5. Dana Barrett played by Zooey Deschanel

The vomit is now rising to the top of your throat. Sure she can play the adorable yet bumbling girl next door but no one wants to see her try to serenade ghosts with a ukelele.

6. Vigo The Carpathian played by Ben Affleck

You just broke the toilet. Good news is Ben Affleck only has a few lines with this one. Bad news is he’s directing the movie and serving as co-writer. Argo was awful, guys, don’t fool yourself.

7. Louis Tully played by Jim Parsons

You’re now making an appointment with a cleaning service for all of the vomit you just spewed.

8. Oscar played by Verne Troyer

Dana Barrett’s son Oscar from Ghostbusters 2 actually should be played by Verne Troyer.

9. Slimer played by Flo from the Progressive commercials

At some point “Flo” is going to start looking for other work and casting directors would probably let her have the role based on her toothy grin that you simply can’t hide from anytime you’re near a television.

You have also vomited again so hard, your body has turned inside out, leaving you to die at your computer. And you forgot to clear your history.