Hey Break-ers! Are you an unemployed tech wiz looking for adventure in addition to income? Or at least smart enough to forge a resume and throw around obscure tech terms like “Church-Turing theorom,” “genetic algorithm,” and “internet” with total confidence like you actually know what you’re talking about?
The tiny magic island of New Zealand has a thriving tech industry but is populated entirely by flightless parrots and kiwi fruit rotting in the sun. In an effort to drain brains from abroad, they’re offering a free round-trip vacation to the top 100 applicants for their four-day job interview-o-rama! It’s being offered by LookSee Wellington and you can apply right here.
If you get the job…no, you know what, let’s toss that defeatist attitude aside right now. WHEN you get the job, you’re going to be experiencing major culture shock when you relocate from the real world to New Zealand, where hobbits ride the bus to work with you and they call football “rugby” and play it with a completely different ball and rules. Here’s some of the cool stuff that awaits you upon arrival:
Check out this see-through sea salp! New Zealanders have nothing to hide.
Are you kidding me with how cool these cigarette warning packs are?! If you don’t smoke now but enjoy the Saw franchise, you’ll want to pick up the habit immediately upon deplaning from your 18-hour flight!
Football is weird here! They play without helmets! This sassy little upstart of a country is really trying to give the U.S. a run for the money when it comes to prevalence of chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Dream on, NZ. We’re #1! We’re #1!
New Zealand is home to the kakapo, the world’s only flightless parrot, seen here gushing to Stephen Fry about his flawless performance as Oscar Wilde in the masterpiece biopic “Wilde.”
Just like Europeans, New Zealanders start drinking alchol much earlier than Americans. The drunk little kids of New Zealand love to throw back a sugary “alcopop” or five before heading off to school to learn to read.
Buildings in New Zealand are constructed from premium corrugated cardboard.
Justice is harsh but fair in New Zealand. Cut in line, get thrown from a bridge with steel cable wrapped around your waist.
You’d better develop an appetite for kiwi! These adorable, affectionate, and happy little birds are the staple meat of a New Zealander’s diet.
A contest to design New Zealand’s new flag really brought out the nation’s creativity!
It’s considered good luck when a sea monster leaps from the ocean only to fall a few inches short of you, gasping for air while dying slowly. (Because then you get to eat it, lucky!)
New Zealand boasts some of the best public transportation in the world.