For today’s unnecessary nudity we go to Greenacres, Florida. Sounds delightful! However the peace and calm of Greenacres was shattered when one woman sat outside a local Dunkin Donuts and decided to show off her “French Cruller” right in front of everyone.
Time to make the donuts! And by “donuts” I mean make people vomit.
32 year-old Shakara Monik Martin of West Palm Beach, Florida told arresting officers that that she got naked in front of the donut shop on a dare. She claims she pulled out her croissants and jelly donut all as part of pledge to join a dance troupe. Damn, the hazing for this dance troupe is rougher than the hazing at that Oklahoma fraternity (you really don’t want to know what those fellas do to each other.)
America may “run on Dunkin,” but Dunkin customers may have just been runnin.’ As she sat on a bench outside the donut shop, several people offered her clothing, which she denied as the lady sat firmly on a bench having whipped out her old “bear claw.”
While the dance troupe dared her to get naked, no word on who dared her to paint eyes on her eye lids and make it look like she was awake at all times.
She began apologizing once the Greenacres police arrived and charged her with indecent exposure. If she was smart she should have taken them inside and offered those officers a few Old Fashions and a couple of Glazed Boston Kremes. Those may or may not be euphuisms, I can’t tell anymore! My only question is what kind of dance group is this?
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