Florida Man High On Flakka Has Sex With Tree & Stabs Officer With Own Badge

A Florida man was out of his mind this week on Flakka; a new synthetic drug sweeping the state that is a form of Bath Salts. Yay! We have not had a good bath salts story in a while.

Rough weekend.

And before you get excited this isn’t the eat a guy’s face off bath salts, but the have sex with a tree and try to stab a police officer with his own badge type of drugs. To be fair he did say he was a god. Not the God, but a god; specifically Thor the Roman god of thunder. And “Thor” sure brought the thunder.

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The hammer was brought down on 41-year-old Kenneth Crowder but unfortunately for him, it wasn’t Thor’s hammer. The Flakka user was arrested this past Friday in Melbourne, Florida after someone called the cops when they saw him running naked through a residential neighborhood and “commiting sexual acts on a tree.” -Some of those ferns sure do give him a hardwood. Mhmmm. 

And while that might just be a typical Florida way to spend your afternoon Crowder kicked things up a notch when an officer responded to the scene and the drug crazed man lunged at him, identifying himself as Thor.

See what Flakka can do?!

“Thor” received some “lightning bolts” of his own in the form of the police officer’s Taser, but this was no match for a god… or at least a guy on Flakka. Crowder pulled off the Taser’s probes and attacked the officer, punching him and grabbing his badge which he tried to stab him with. While the Avengers weren’t available to subdue Thor, the cop was able to punch the wild man in the face before other officers arrived and were finally able to take Crowder down.

The freaky Flakka Thor was charged with battery of a law enforcement officer, resiting arrest, and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer. People of Florida will be happy to know he made bail and Thor is again watching over all of you.

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: Click Orlando