Today in Florida we go to Port Salerno where a man allegedly got so drunk at a lovely water front bar and restaurant named The Twisted Tuna that security escorted him out. Once outside the bar he continued to try and fight the security guards. Well he certainly got twisted.
After attempting to fight other customers at the bar, 29-year-old Gregory Sorensen did the only sensible thing and took things outside… by jumping in the river. Maybe he was just trying to act out the lyrics from that “Big Mouth Billy Bass” song.
Before jumping in the river Sorensen made sure to throw his bicycle in the drink as well. Then he continued to taunt and shout at the other patrons, challenging them to fight. Which is pretty bad ass; who invites people to fight in a river? He also gets bonus points in my book for taking his bike with him; at least he wouldn’t be drinking and driving.
Not finished with his debauchery the rowdy river swimmer then swam from The Twisted Tuna across the water to Shrimper’s Grill & Raw Bar. If there is one thing we have learned from this story is that the people of Port Salerno sure have awesome seafood themed names for their bars. Did he also swing by Carl’s Crazy Crab Shack?
This is actually pretty impressive that he was able to swim across the river in his intoxicated state, with this bike in tow. For a drunk Florida Man this is the equivalent of swimming the English Channel; all he needed was more booze as a motivator.
However once in the water outside Shrimpers, instead of calmly coming ashore for a much deserved celebratory cocktail, Sorensen again challenged the security guy of that bar to a fight. By this point Martin County Sheriff’s deputies had been called. They had to get Sorensen to drop a pocketknife before hauling his wet, drunk ass onto land and into custody. He was charged with causing a disturbance in a public place and resisting an officer without violence. Hopefully the jail isn’t by a river.
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