Florida Man Can’t Stop Burping!

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on May. 22, 2014
If you’re a friend or acquaintance of Ron Johnson of Venice, Florida you might want to stay clear of his mouth. That’s because Mr. Johnson suffers from an unfortunate ailment, what he refers to as uncontrollable chronic belching. It all started one morning after he had surgery, and he’s been dropping mouth gas ever since for the past two years!

There are certain,- buuuuh- non-fatal word combinations of conditions that you really don’t want to have such as cornea- ulcer, penis-scales and ruptured nostrils. I’m going to go ahead and put chronic belching on this list as I can’t imagine anyone wanting to burp for that long. Unless of course he wants to challenge the guy that can burp the alphabet; Ron could burp the phone book!

While some of us enjoy ripping a good mouth fart now and again, I think we can all appreciate the fact that we can stop burping during movies, weddings and sexy time. Poor Ron has been to many different doctors and none of them have a solution. That’s right in the year 2014, with all of our MRI machines, scans, biopsies, and boner pills, doctors can’t figure out what is causing a guy to belch uncontrollably. That’s why he is going to the Internet for help to see if anyone knows what can help. Do you guys have any burp stopping solutions for Ron? He could hold his breath for ten minutes, chug hot sauce, or just live with it and become the world’s greatest burper. It would sure impress this girl.

Let’s just hope that things turn out better for Ron than they did for “hiccup girl” Jennifer Mee who hiccupped 50 times a minute. She was later convicted of murder in a 2010 botched robbery attempt …. In Clearwater, Florida.

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