She Cheated on Him with What?

Infidelity is a big deal in America.  But maybe not as big as the media would have you believe.  Accoridng to at least one psychologist, you might be looking at a 25% chance of facing infidelity over the course of an entire relationship.  So when we hear 50% of all marriages end in divorce, that number may not be accurate and it certainly doesn’t mean it was due to cheating.  Because maybe cheating is a lot more complicated than we ever imagined.

Triston Horne, who of course is from Florida, was arrested last week.  He was spending the night with his ex-wife when the two got into an argument because she was in the bathroom.  People use bathrooms, we should be used to that, but Triston was pretty sure something nefarious was afoot in that bathroom.  His ex was cheating on him.  With a sex toy.

Cheating with a sex toy is a lot like cheating with your hand when you think about it, but apparently Triston was a really possessive guy.  A possessive, kind of stupid guy.  So he snatched the toy away and then busted it right in half.  Atta boy.  You show that dildo!  Also good on him for busting it in half.  You ever try to break one of those things?  They’re built to take a lot of punishment.  Must have been a cheap brand.

To add some more sadness to the story, he was then kicked out by the woman, and her 16 year old daughter, who we can only hope wasn’t around during the dildo fight.  Later he sneaked into the house and stole his ex’s phone, too, because why not?  Why not?

Triston isn’t the only man to make the news for bizarre infidelity concerns, however.  Back in April on the show Divorce Court a man accused his wife of cheating on him with the entire Wu Tang clan.  The entire Wu Tang clan. 

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This is a lot of men.

First, it’s amazing that your wife cheated with the entire Wu Tang clan.  You shouldn’t even be mad about that.  That’s a humble brag.  And second, what?  How did she cheat with the entire Wu Tang clan?  Who was the last, sad member of the Wu Tang clan who was like “I guess so, sure” and went after the rest of the clan?  That guy has issues.

And here’s a dude who just can’t handle that his woman cheated on him with a little person, but is really probably not so bad compared to the entire Wu Tang Clan.

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