As I’ve stated before when an airline incident occurs,there are really just three major rules to follow so you don’t get your flight diverted or end up with an air marshal’s boot up your sphincter:
- Sit down.
- Buckle Your Seat Belt
- Shut the fuck up.
It’s that simple. Maybe back in the day you could get liquored up and pick a fight on Pan Am, maybe even score with a flight attendant and no one would care. However, post 9/11, these are the rules; we don’t care that you’re having a bad day, you’re off your meds, or you are just a cantankerous old coot. Shut your damn mouth on the airplane and everyone will get from point A to point B just fine. Yet again, this has proven to be way too many rules to follow for some of the wonderful humans that we share this planet with.
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Another airplane has been diverted from its original flight plan due to passengers failing to sit down and / or shut the fuck up. In the wake of last week’s Knee Defender incident a Florida woman, Amy Fine on a Delta flight from New York to West Palm Beach lost her mind when the old woman in front of her reclined her seat. Apparently the seat hit Fine in the head who had been resting on her tray table. That’s when the in-flight show began.
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Fine started arguing with the woman, telling her to put her seat back up. When flight attendants tried to calm her down, she demanded that they land the plane. A witness told the local news “She said something to the effect of, ‘I don’t care about the consequences. Put this plane down now.'”
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Well isn’t that just special? Instead of dealing with a reclining old lady for a few hours, she decided to screw everyone and land the whole plane! The captain decided to divert course and land in Jacksonville to remove the crazy passenger. She later told cops she was emotional since her dog died. I bet her dog killed himself; sort of his version of “landing the plane now.” (Really? Thinking about writing an angry comment? Did you know the dog?) Fine was dropped off by local authorities at the Jacksonville airport rental car area; her intended destination West Palm Beach is a four hour drive. The other passengers arrived an hour and a half behind schedule. Things could always be worse. Just pray you don’t have this lady on your flight:
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Is this a case where the Knee Defender would have come in handy? In case you missed it last week a man on a United flight from Newark to Denver got the plane diverted to Chicago when he used the twenty dollar device which prevents the person in front of you from reclining their seat.
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For some reason, this caused the women in the seat in front of him to become upset. The flight crew intervened and the man refused to remove the Knee Defender from the seat, so the woman threw water in his face. Both were taken into custody in Chicago before the flight continued to Denver. Who was right here? Should Knee Defenders be allowed on airplanes to avoid incidents like the Florida lady freaking out? Or should everyone just deal?
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Defend Phil Haney’s Knees on Twitter @PhilHaney