First Successful Penis Transplant Completed

A South African man is no longer “half the man he used to be” thanks to the world’s first successful penis transplant. While people like John Bobbitt are thankful that penis reattachment surgery is a common practice, apparently having another man’s member transplanted to your body is not.   (That reference might be a deep cut; Bobbitt was a dude who got his wiener sliced off by his wife and later reattached.)  

He’s got his penis goggles on. –The brave surgeons.

That is until now when heroes at the Stellenbosch University Division Of Urology performed a nine hour surgery on the 21-year old guy. The man had lost all but one centimeter of his penis due to a botched circumcision. Poor fella just wanted a trim but instead he got a full shave.

The penis swapper has reportedly made a full recovery, regaining ALL function with his new organ (yes, that too). The surgery took place in December and after three months of recovery now appears to be working normally; success! This marks a major medical breakthrough in replacing tally whackers that were wacked off and not in a good way. Thousands of men lose their mini-me’s in accidents, botched ritualistic circumcision practices and spontaneous penile combustion.* (*I just made that last one up.)

Professors Andre van der Merwe, and Rafique Moosa, who performed the surgery show reporters what they were dealing with.

This isn’t the first time a penile transplant has been attempted. Chinese doctors attempted the procedure in 2006 however had to re-cut off the johnson, not for physical reasons, but psychological. Although the unit was working great, the transplant recipient and his wife could not handle using a dead man’s penis. They had it removed only two weeks after the 15 hour surgery. This could also make a great horror movie. What if the penis is haunted? What if the recipient starts to feel ghost orgasms from experiences that the penis’s last owner had?

And all this time I was walking around thinking that the medical community already had this important transplant surgery totally figured out. Guess I’m done with “naked knife time” for a while or at least until they get a few more transplants under their belts. Then I’m volunteering to be a knife throwers assistant!

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: Telegraph