Father Gets Pranked By Masturbating Mario

Have you ever read one of those stories in a paper like the Mirror or Daily Mail (they’re often from the UK) about a person who just seems a tad too stupid to have reached adulthood?  The details of each story can be vastly different but the basic feeling you get when you’re done reading the story is that “no one could possibly be this big an idiot.”  You may want to hold onto that feeling.

First and foremost, you can take it on good authority that The Daily Mail and the Mirror both have less journalistic integrity than whatever US based media outlet you think is just a shill for whatever political party you don’t support.  These rags make FOX news CNN, MSNBC and all the rest look like paradigms of journalistic excellency.  Why?  Because they routinely just make stuff up.

Case in point is the latest tale of woe from the Mirror about a father in the UK distraught over the terrible scourge of a McDonalds Happy Meal.  Here’s a video explaining it all in great detail;

Wait, no, that explained nothing.  But you’re on the internet so you can guess where this story is going – father gets his daughter a seemingly innocent toy, is horrified to discover it vaguely looks like it’s masturbating if you remove the boomerang from its hand and think like a 14 year old boy.

McDonalds defended the toy as having been around for a year with no complaints at all and the father, as you can see from the still frame of the video tagged “#viral” may just be overreacting.  Or his he?

In fact, the father from this story was not overreacting because he never reacted at all.  The actual man cited in the story, Tyler Atfield, went to his local paper after someone pointed out the story to him to let them know it wasn’t true at all.  And since every detail about the story – where he lives, what he does for a living and how many kids he has, match up with him perfectly, this was not a case of mistaken identity.  This was just a completely BS story that a major news outlet picked up and ran with based on literally nothing. 

Atfield thinks a friend just pranked him, but the whole scenario fits with the Mirror’s past history of fabrication fairly nicely.  So don’t worry if you hear about masturbating Marios ruining Happy Meals, it’s not true.  But next time you read a story that sounds almost unbelievable, see if you can source it back to anything reliable.