Facebook Says “LOL” Isn’t Funny Anymore

Did you ever think you’d live to see the day when “lol” became your mom’s way of expressing mirth online?  Well, check your bifocal prescription, grandpa, because today is that day.  According to in-depth and important research from the people at facebook who clearly have to do something – anything – to stay busy all day, “lol” is the lame, old way to show laughter online while the hip new way to laugh is “haha.”  Man, this is some scientific stuff.

Nearly half of all laughers now use “haha” while a third like to bust out an emoji.  Only the decrepit and out of touch bother with “lol” anymore, hammering it out on their dusty Commodore 64s while they watch old Strongbad emails and read Holytaco.com in their time machines.

According to data, only 1.9% of users bother with “lol” any more, in case you were still using it and feeling pretty sure that it can’t be that unpopular. Man, it’s unpopular.  It’s less popular than the Fantastic Four.  Ha ha!

What does this mean for the future of virtual laughter?  It’s entirely possible that “lol” is going to go the way of lmao and rofl.  Oh, hadn’t you heard?  Those are dinosaur acronyms.  They’re extinct.  No one uses them.  Not even your mom.  We sincerely hope you don’t use them either elsewise the hip kids of today will be spending all day trying to figure out why you misspelled “Alamo” and what it has to do with the subject you were discussing.

So who laughs what way?  You’re dying to know obviously so we’ll tell you.  Start a new page in your notes.  Turns out women and young people tend to use the emojis quite often, while men prefer versions of “hehe” but usually longer.  Because what dude isn’t down with a little “hehehe” after he makes a subtle joke to a lady about sausages.  Hehehe.

The use of laughter is also regional.  Chicago residents and New York residents, for instance, are more emoji people.  Seattle and San Francisco laughers go for the “haha.”

At this point you’re probably wondering if anyone made a pie chart that visually displays the breakdown between the four laughter types and man are you in luck.  This sumbitch is up to its eyeballs in pie.

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Now what about those of you that like a haha but maybe a longer ha ha?  Maybe a hahahaha?  Fear not!  The data for haha used that only as a base.  All has, regardless of length, were covered.  In fact, they even made a chart to show the length of has, hes and whatnot that are used.  Man, someone loves graphs over at Facebook.

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So Facebook is just a pile of laughing fools, right?  Not exactly.  This data was taken from a week’s worth of postings on Facebook back in May.  And of all the postings during that week, about 15% of users included laughter.  15% is  kind of ridiculously small, as in most people don’t bother with any of this at all. But that also means only 1.9% of 15% of people type “lol” anymore.  So please, let’s kill that lazy ass acronym off already.