Facebook Conducted Emotional Experiments On Users!

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Jun. 30, 2014
This week Facebook admitted to conducting emotional experiments on around 700,000 of its users, thus making them experience the emotion of ANGER. It’s weird that people are upset about this now; I always thought that Facebook was a huge psychosocial experiment gone wrong. Facebook normally makes me sad and hungry at the same time.

 

This video will make you feel confusion.

It makes good common sense that using Facebook can alter your emotions by seeing status updates boasting how well all of your friends are doing, especially if you suck. Becky is getting married, Becky got a new puppy, Becky is leaving out posts about her explosive irritable bowel syndrome. Everyone loves to post how great their life is, but they tend to ditch the posts about the night terrors they continually experience due to a traumatic childhood guppy attack. The overlords at Facebook thought this common knowledge would be a good jumping off point to start doing some science!

The weird thing is this is a regular photo of an avocado.

Launching an algorithm targeting the amount of positive and negative news items that appeared in user’s feeds, researchers with Facebook’s Data Science Team conducted the experiment in 2012. The recently published findings of the Facebook scientists is that the term “Facebook scientists” is kind of creepy. They also found that;

"For people who had positive content reduced in their News Feed, a larger percentage of words in people's status updates were negative and a smaller percentage were positive. When negativity was reduced, the opposite pattern occurred."

That doesn’t sound so bad. Things could be worse such as in the famous Stanford Prison Experiment where college kids played prisoner and prison guard and went all Abu Ghraib on each other with “prison guards” humiliating and beating “prisoners.” But I’m sure Facebook knows what they are doing by toying with hundreds of thousands of humans emotional states without their consent. What’s the worst that could go wrong? *Cough* Killing spree. *Cough* I'm kidding, probably not a whole spree. Maybe a small spree.

Facebook made people sad and frustrated as they still can't "dislike" posts.

In fact In the interest of full disclosure and coming clean, I would like to formally apologize to the Break viewers for the ongoing experiments we are conducting on your mental and emotional state. Below please find a list of twisted Break Experiments we have put you through. As you can see we have been toying with your emotions for years.

Break Emotional Experiments

1. Love: "Shovel Girl Fight" will make you fall in love.

2. Anger: This "Greasy Muffin" cat video will make you want to punch a wall.

3. Sadness: This video of Kate Upton floating in zero gravity will make you sad you will never be with her.


4. Joy: You will experience joy at witnessing the pure depravity of humanity.

5. Surprise: Just watch and be surprised!

How did this article make you feel?

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5 comments
Foqnax
Foqnax User

The fake 720p option your media player has must be a social experiment.

eldystar
eldystar User

So the people who are happy all the time just wreck everyones day because they go against normal human psychology

Stormageddon666
Stormageddon666 User

You should apologize for the liberal propaganda you peddle instead

Loudaddy2002
Loudaddy2002 User

Actually we do! 

I've had people ask me to stop hanging out with them because my happiness makes them depressed! insert your own stupid "nobody likes you" joke here__________________ . But I'm for real!

PhilHaney
PhilHaney moderator User

@Stormageddon666  Crazy Rhubarb Lady is clearly a hippie communist pushing for mutual ownership of the rhubarb and Kate Upton is very liberal with her clothing. I’m sorry.