This story is gross and I apologize in advance. Kenneth Douglas, Ohio’s newest celebrity and a former morgue worker has admitted in court to defiling at least 100 corpses in his time working at the morgue between 1976 and 1992, a period of time that is both extremely long and extremely terrifying to think about in this context. 100 dead bodies.
Douglas was caught when investigators found a sample of his DNA inside a murder victim. The murderer had admitted to killing her but not rape and a DNA test confirmed the killer hadn’t done it. Douglas was caught and convicted of abusing only three bodies, netting him three years in prison. He said he only did it when he was drunk or high, if that makes anyone, anywhere feel any better about it. And it doesn’t.
If you’d like to keep your breakfast where it is, avoid this next part. Otherwise, read on about how Douglas’ own wife testified against him in court saying that, when he worked the night shift, he would come home “reeking of sex.” We pretty much all know what she means by that, now compound it with the fact these people were dead and eew. Just…eew.
Douglas’ wife said she would call the coroner to complain, she basically outed her husband as a freak to his boss, and she was told to stop calling, which means other people know and let it continue, which is just as awful but in an entirely different way.
You may be thinking “well, that’s crazy as hell” and you’d of course be right – necrophilia is one of the more rare and creepy paraphilias humans can experience and it has some psychological explanations and reasons behind it, most notably that a necrophiliac probably suffers low self esteem and wants a sexual partner who won’t resist or reject them. How this leads to sex with a corpse is a big leap, even for psychology. People get rejected at the club every night, you know what they do? Go watch some porno, maybe bust out a fleshlight. They’re not made from real flesh, though.
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You may be interested to know that, in the US, there actually is no federally mandated law against having sex with the dead. As a country we decided to shrug and let states handle this one, and handle it they did. For instance, in Ohio, where Douglas was caught, it’s a second degree misdemeanor, 5th degree felony under chapter 2927 of Ohio law, the same chapter that also prohibits you from selling cigarettes to minors, desecrating the flag, or advertising happy ending massages. That’s what’s on par with corpse sex in Ohio.
As a public service to Douglas and creepy people like him, here’s a list of things that could be better uses of one’s time than sexing a dead person;
- Learn to crotchet
- Light dusting
- Read up on the Marvel comics universe so you’re ready for the next phase of movies
- Learn Spanish
- Literally anything aside from having sex with the body of a dead person