Everything on Thanksgiving is a Turducken!


What better way to celebrate how awesome America is this Thanksgiving than with the most awesome, most American of foods: The Turducken. For those of you who are not familiar (I’m guessing non Americans and people who do not have mouths) a Turducken is a Turkey stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken. It’s like The Human Centipede of holiday meals. Why use traditional stuffing, when you can use a whole other animal as the stuffing? But why stop at the main dish being the only Turducken? You can have EVERY aspect of your Thanksgiving dinner meal become “Turduckenized.” Serving snacks before dinner while everyone watches the Thanksgiving Football game? Turducken Nuts: A peanut inside a cashew inside a walnut! Here are a few more of my favorite ways to Turduckenize everything on your Turducken Day menu!


Turducken Burger


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You’re main dish should be a Turducken on Thanksgiving. However If you are sick of using silverware at Thanksgiving, than this Turducken Burger is to be eaten the way the Pilgrims intended, with your hands, like a man! Chicken, Turkey and Duck together on a bun!


The Dessert Turducken: The Churpumple!


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If you are like me than you love to shove every type of pie, cake and cookie onto your plate for the ultimate personal buffet of dessert, and that’s just at the Home Town Buffett. For Thanksgiving Charles Phoenix created “The Turducken of Desserts, the Cherpumple, featuring cherry, pumpkin and apple pie layered on top of one another. Cherpumples should only be served after eating Turduckens.


Turducken Side Dish: Slices of Turducken


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Along with your Thanksgiving Turducken you are going to need a side dish to serve your guests. However since this is the most awesome ALL Turducken meal we are going to do away with mash potatoes and corn. Instead you are going to serve slices of mini Turducken in roll format. You can get the recipe here.


Turducken Drink


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Turducken’s aren’t limited to just eating. With your All Turducken Thanksgiving Menu you are going to need to have a Turducken Drink! Lex Lybrand has invented the Turducken drink combining Wild Turkey, Donald Duck Orange Juice and Eggnog! You can get the Turducken Drink recipe here.

Turducken Nap


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After a long day of eating all things Turducken, you are going to be ready for a nap! That’s why you need to take the Turducken Nap: You get yourself inside a Snuggie, inside a sleeping bag, inside a bed! Turducken Nap! Note: Tell someone you are doing the Turducken Nap so that if you have trouble freeing yourself from this concoction they will come looking for you.  And when they wake you from your nap, maybe they can crawl into your Turducken Snuggie, sleeping bag, bed and work out a “Turducken Sex Move.” – I don’t even want to think about what that would be.


What other types of Turducken’s would you add to the Ultimate Thanksgiving Turducken meal?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter:  @PhilHaney