I've got some bad news for people who like the taste of artificial pumpkin-spice flavoring and/or latex-covered erect penises. Rumors about Durex launching a pumpkin-flavored condom are false, the company has confirmed. This is depressing, if for no other reason than I'm going to miss out on a lot of easy "Jack-o'-lantern" jokes. C'est la vie.
Over the weekend, images of a Durex wrapper featuring the festive fall flavor began showing up on Twitter, much to the delight of Starbucks loving c*ck-suckers everywhere.
I hope it tastes great, but I also hope I never find out.
After initially refusing to confirm or deny the rumor, Durex eventually decided to come clean (GET IT?) and have a spokesman tell the world that the flavor was not actually slated for release.
"Durex has heard that people are saying we launched a 'Pumpkin Spice' condom," said a man with a college education who gets paid to talk about rubbers. "We can’t claim this one, but we do love it when people spice up the bedroom,"
While it may have been a hoax, don't be surprised if it becomes a reality next year, considering all the buzz this image generated. And at the rate things are going, don't be surprised if they're selling pumpkin-spice-flavored lube at Starbucks by the end of the decade. (Source)