Kentucky Man Tries to Help Dad Get To Heaven – By Digging Up his Corpse

If you’re a person of faith, you probably want your friends and loved ones to head on to heaven in their afterlife.  Well, technically, you should want everyone to find redemption and move on to Heaven.  Word is it’s a nice place. 

Michael Dale May wanted his father to experience all the fluffy white clouds and harps we’ve come to associate with heaven thanks to cartoons as well.  His father, however, had died over 30 years ago.  You’d think, then, that he’d been enjoying the house of the Lord this whole time but apparently that wasn’t the case according to May.  In May’s opinion, which came hand in hand with a public intoxication charge, his father could not get to Heaven because scripture says his body needs to be on the Earth, not below it.

May didn’t cite what Scripture supports his opinion, but he did state later on in the jail that he knew what he was doing and, given the chance, he’d do it again if he could.  He was charged with public intoxication, possession of marijuana and violating graves.  So probably this isn’t the best commercial for how chill people using marijuana are.

According to May, he knows the “truth” which is that being underground is not were your corpse wants to be.  Or it seems that’s what he means.  And until word gets out, he’s going to just go and do it again.  So Michael, we’re helping you out here, buddy.  Spreading the good word.  So, you know, don’t go digging up any more graves.

Though May says he was performing a spiritual service for his old man, officers say he told them at the scene that he was digging the body up to argue with it, because sometimes you need to air 30 year old grievances with the corpse of your father and the only way to do that is by getting loaded and digging the man’s bones up.  The nature of the intended argument wasn’t clear, nor how he expected his father to hold up his part of the conversation to ensure it would be an argument rather than a morbid monologue.

If you’re at all interested, the Bible actually makes extensive mention of the act of burial even prior to the idea of resurrection.  While some figures, like Jesus most notably, get an above ground tomb, the most common method of taking care of a body was burial, so nothing speaks against it in the Bible or suggests a lack of the ability to get to heaven because of it.  In fact, Jeremiah 16:4 says “They shall die of deadly diseases. They shall not be lamented, nor shall they be buried. They shall be as dung on the surface of the ground. They shall perish by the sword and by famine, and their dead bodies shall be food for the birds of the air and for the beasts of the earth.”  That seems to be a strong indication that not being buried is a bit of an insult and a crappy thing, literally, to do to a body.

So fear not if your loved ones are buried, it’s A-OK in the eyes of the lord.  Plus, from a practical standpoint, life would be really difficult for the rest of us if we just let dead bodies lay around on the ground all the time.  We’d have some serious issues with odor control, rats, carrion birds, probably the odd plague.  Best we keep things going to way they are now.