Bears may not be capable of formulating deep thoughts about philosophical motivations into words using a familiar vernacular that expresses complex emotions or explores solutions to unanswered questions but they still like to party. Case in point: a black bear who broke into a campsite’s food stash and got drunk on a ton of beer.
Staff members at the Baker Lake Resort in Baker Lake, Washington came across a blacked out black bear who downed 36 cans of Rainier beer from some nearby campers after rummaging through their cooler. Members of Washington’s Fish and Wildlife Department say they found the bear passed out on the ground surrounded by empty beer cans that he bit into in order to guzzle the magical, sleepy time juice.
They actually tried to wake up the bear and chase it away but the poor thing just stumbled off and climbed up a tree to sleep off the rest of the alcohol. They caught the bear with a trap that used Rainier beer as bait presumably so they can enter it into a 12-step program to help the bear understand the psychological memories that drive it to drink so much.
The funny part isn’t how much the bear drank but what it drank. The cooler also contained several cans of Busch beer but the bear only drank one can of the stuff and completely ignored the rest as it guzzled down the rest of the Rainier. One park ranger says “it definitely had a preference.” So just let that sink in for a minute. If you’re a fan of Busch beer, then you favor a liquid that even feral animals refuse to drink that’s preferable to drinking their own urine.