Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man, I like food but it’s hard. Sandwiches take forever to put together and microwaves have so many buttons, I just don’t know what to do!?” Well, good news: you’re not alone! Introducing Soylent!
Soylent is a food substitute designed so you, in theory, never have to buy, prepare, or eat solid food again. Created by 24-year-old software engineer Rob Rhinehart, this flavorless concoction contains all the nutrients the body needs. YUM!
Rhinehart said he created it because eating healthy takes time, is expensive, and just not an option for many people. And that is true. Healthier food options aren’t cheap. Whole Foods doesn’t have a dollar menu and Trader Joes often smells like a garden that doesn’t wear deodorant. But should we really just be drinking this mixture?
The ingredients are: Maltodextrin (carbs), Oat Powder (carbs, fiber, protein, fat), Whey Isolate (protein), Grapeseed Oil (fat), Potassium Gluconate, Salt (sodium), Magnesium Gluconate, Monosodium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Methylsulfonylmethane (Sulfur), Creatine, Powdered Soy Lecithin, Choline Bitartrate, Ferrous Gluconate (Iron).
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Rob Rhinehart wants to put his liquid in you.
Rhinehart went 30 days without eating food and only began eating solids again because of social situations. (Apparently, people don’t enjoy sitting around a table to socialize while drinking gallons of semenish liquid). He claims he feels better, has more energy, and has lost weight.
But do we care? Do we want to live in a world where people are just sucking down what appears to be horse spunk constantly, content on just getting nutrients and nothing else?
I say no. We need food. Food is good. Food is fun. Who cares if it takes so long to prepare? Who cares if some food is bad for us? When that girl in sixth grade told me she wasn’t going to date anyone until high school, then started dating Brad in seventh grade, I didn’t go home and drown my sorrows in a big ol’ cup of dog jizz. NO! It was a bag of Ruffles and a good cry.
Let’s not let ourselves be lazy. Sure, we’re busy people and food can get expensive, but I’d rather take the time to grill up some sizzling hot bacon and hurt my heart some than get home, sit on my couch, and start sucking down man gravy.
And if I haven’t made it clear, I’m really bothered this stuff looks like semen.
What are some foods you’ll never give up?