Do You Want Any Part Of A Future Without Food?

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on May. 30, 2013

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Man, I like food but it's hard. Sandwiches take forever to put together and microwaves have so many buttons, I just don't know what to do!?" Well, good news: you're not alone! Introducing Soylent!

Yum?

Soylent is a food substitute designed so you, in theory, never have to buy, prepare, or eat solid food again. Created by 24-year-old software engineer Rob Rhinehart, this flavorless concoction contains all the nutrients the body needs. YUM!

Rhinehart said he created it because eating healthy takes time, is expensive, and just not an option for many people. And that is true. Healthier food options aren't cheap. Whole Foods doesn't have a dollar menu and Trader Joes often smells like a garden that doesn't wear deodorant. But should we really just be drinking this mixture?

The ingredients are: Maltodextrin (carbs), Oat Powder (carbs, fiber, protein, fat), Whey Isolate (protein), Grapeseed Oil (fat), Potassium Gluconate, Salt (sodium), Magnesium Gluconate, Monosodium Phosphate, Calcium Carbonate, Methylsulfonylmethane (Sulfur), Creatine, Powdered Soy Lecithin, Choline Bitartrate, Ferrous Gluconate (Iron).

EXTRA YUM!

Rob Rhinehart wants to put his liquid in you.

Rhinehart went 30 days without eating food and only began eating solids again because of social situations. (Apparently, people don't enjoy sitting around a table to socialize while drinking gallons of semenish liquid). He claims he feels better, has more energy, and has lost weight.

But do we care? Do we want to live in a world where people are just sucking down what appears to be horse spunk constantly, content on just getting nutrients and nothing else?

I say no. We need food. Food is good. Food is fun. Who cares if it takes so long to prepare? Who cares if some food is bad for us? When that girl in sixth grade told me she wasn't going to date anyone until high school, then started dating Brad in seventh grade, I didn't go home and drown my sorrows in a big ol' cup of dog jizz. NO! It was a bag of Ruffles and a good cry.

Let's not let ourselves be lazy. Sure, we're busy people and food can get expensive, but I'd rather take the time to grill up some sizzling hot bacon and hurt my heart some than get home, sit on my couch, and start sucking down man gravy.

And if I haven't made it clear, I'm really bothered this stuff looks like semen.

What are some foods you'll never give up?

- Mark

 

46 comments
mustangman6799
mustangman6799

Only a complete idiot would thumbs-down Johns comment. There's nothing that's an opinion contained in what he's said.

mustangman6799
mustangman6799

I bought three months' worth. This is magnificent! I hope it doesn't taste like shit... probably does.

pixiesprimecut
pixiesprimecut User

the reason a lot of americans are so fatt is that food is sold as to how good it tastes...instead of how good and healthy food should be. so food is used as pleasure and not need.!!!

pixiesprimecut
pixiesprimecut

the reason a lot of americans are so fatt is that food is sold as to how good it tastes...instead of how good and healthy food should be. so food is used as pleasure and not need.!!!

Corpsecrank
Corpsecrank User

If you think that it looks like semen I have some bad news...

Corpsecrank
Corpsecrank

If you think that it looks like semen I have some bad news...

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

I would give up food. It's such a pain in the ass, and too damned expensive.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

Mark, maybe once you graduate the 5th grade and stop looking at everything in terms of sexual innuendos, get a real job and have to pay bills, you'll realize what a boon this product could be. Clearly, you've never been stressed out by the cost or or effort involved in food acquisition and preparation. Billions of people around the world don't have the luxury of that perspective. I'm in favor of this stuff all the way. Put some f-cking food coloring in it if you need it to look like a stra

Hoofster
Hoofster User

If I ate that crap I'd soyl myself

Hoofster
Hoofster

If I ate that crap I'd soyl myself

msd3d
msd3d User

But do you poop? Or just diarrhea. This is a serious question. I have done the juicing thing for a week and got terrible diarrhea.

msd3d
msd3d

But do you poop? Or just diarrhea. This is a serious question. I have done the juicing thing for a week and got terrible diarrhea.

smoke1383
smoke1383 User

Mark...would you give up eating dicks for this drink?

smoke1383
smoke1383

Mark...would you give up eating dicks for this drink?

Homeslice92
Homeslice92 User

I'm curious to know what effect this would have on your teeth over time.

atkinson1992
atkinson1992

I'm curious to know what effect this would have on your teeth over time.

BlankTitanic
BlankTitanic UserTop Commenter

This is not healthy...whey, soy, creatine....not healthy at all. I am a vegan triathlete. Enjoy your bacon Mark, when you are rotting of cancer you will wish you had not.

BlankTitanic
BlankTitanic

This is not healthy...whey, soy, creatine....not healthy at all. I am a vegan triathlete. Enjoy your bacon Mark, when you are rotting of cancer you will wish you had not.

WZRDZ
WZRDZ User

its called soylent?

WZRDZ
WZRDZ

its called soylent?

Rick_S
Rick_S User

Am I the only one who caught the comment about no waste? Does that mean you stop pooping? That's not such a bad thing, I think!

Rick_S
Rick_S

Am I the only one who caught the comment about no waste? Does that mean you stop pooping? That's not such a bad thing, I think!

maccaw1
maccaw1 User

Tailored to my body and life style... better come in Big Mac flavor then!

maccaw1
maccaw1

Tailored to my body and life style... better come in Big Mac flavor then!

treyert
treyert User

Soylent Green is a 1973 American science fiction film directed by Richard Fleischer and starring Charlton Heston. Read up on your materials, Google is your friend.

treyert
treyert

Soylent Green is a 1973 American science fiction film directed by Richard Fleischer and starring Charlton Heston. Read up on your materials, Google is your friend.

slave00
slave00 User

you still need something to make it green. fail.

slave00
slave00

you still need something to make it green. fail.

wtothetf
wtothetf

It's called soylent? Really? I think someone's pulling your leg here Mark, either that or you're in on the gag.

km9v
km9v User

It's people!

km9v
km9v

It's people!

collinsmichael1981
collinsmichael1981 User

Where to start: If your Semen looks like that see a Dr. and NOW! I agree with the, I prefer "real food" as opposed to blended slop. The dude that created this, needs to gain weight if anything, losing weight may make him not exist in the physical plane.

collinsmichael1981
collinsmichael1981

Where to start: If your Semen looks like that see a Dr. and NOW! I agree with the, I prefer "real food" as opposed to blended slop. The dude that created this, needs to gain weight if anything, losing weight may make him not exist in the physical plane.

Jeebok-Roy-976
Jeebok-Roy-976

I totally agree with you Mark. This may be an option for some people but preparing real food and eating it has much more fun and satisfaction associated with it, whether it's nutritious or junk.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

Didn't you hear him? Mark won't give up eating any of his favorite things for this stuff. And based on his analysis, I'd say he's clearly obsessed with dick and jizz. Probably staples of his diet.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

There's calcium in the mixture. Your teeth would be fine.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

If you are a triathlete, you should know that your body requires creatine. The stuff that makes your muscles move - adenosine tri-phosphate - is synthesized from creatine phosphate. Whey and soy are also aources of many essential nutrients, although some epople do indeed process them poorly. But soylent is not a set recipe; it is tailored to the individual. The whey and soy can be replaced with other nutrients that deliver the same essentials.

The-Langolier
The-Langolier UserTop Commenter

How much bacon exactly do you need to consume before getting cancer?

The-Langolier
The-Langolier

How much bacon exactly do you need to consume before getting cancer?

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

He has a blog post that covers his experiences, including the waste aspect. He literally does not shit anymore, although he does still piss. If you took in more nutrient than your body could absorb, you might still produce semi-solid waste, but the idea is to provide yourself with a perfect amount of nutrients, and he has tweeked his pretty well near to perfection at this point.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

obviously you don't NEED it. The guy has been surviving almost exclusively on it for 3 months. He only eats a solid meal for fun, on rare occassions. You should read up on his efforts before you condemn them.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

No, it's legit. He used the name soylent as a joke and to draw attention to it. But he's conducting a real, and ongoing experiment, for the sake of delivering quantified data.

John-Camilli-997
John-Camilli-997

He isn't doing it to lose weight. He mentions that it could be a side effect for people who WANT to do that, but it depends entirely on the specific mixture and level of intake. You could also use it to gain weight, just like people use whey powder to bulk up. He's doing it to reduce the effort and expense of eating 3 times a day. As a person who has better things to do with my time than be constantly acquiring and preparing food, I completely agree.