Disney Doesn’t Like Meat On Ladies’ Bones And That’s A Shame

Have you ever heard the term “cushion for the pushin’?” It was most likely invented by a scientist who knew what was up and not by the Disney Corporation who evidently finds bags of bones attractive.

Recently, Disney crowned Merida, the lead from Pixar’s “Brave” as its 11th-princess. But before they could do that, they had to make some changes: smaller waist, bigger boobs, and skinnier head amongst others.

What was wrong with Merida to begin with? She wasn’t fat. She was adorable. She had some hips and didn’t wear annoying, shiny dresses. Disney has been criticized in the past for their impossible-to-live-up-to standards for princesses and this just adds fuel to the fire. (Let’s not forget that we are discussing the sexification of cartoon characters aimed at young girls here. If anything, that’s the bigger, less sexy issue).

We don’t need super-skinny princesses. In fact, I’d go so far as to say let’s give them some shape, make them more realistic, and stop trying to give us Barbies because Barbies in real life are so frightening that my penis does the opposite of erecting.

[[contentId: 2445411| data-allowvote: false| style:width: 300px; height: 478px;]]

Like a mole digging a hole, my penis retreats into my body…

This goes for more than just Disney princesses or Barbies. We need more curvy ladies in the world. Honestly, which of these two do you find more attractive?

[[contentId: 2445412| data-allowvote: false| style:width: 500px; height: 350px;]]

If you say the one on the right, then I imagine you’d rather have sex with a bucket of KFC chicken AFTER its been eaten than before (either way, you’re having sex with a bucket of chicken and are most likely very lonely.)

Also, Disney, maybe you can stop being racist. Where is the crown for this hot Disney character?

[[contentId: 2445413| data-allowvote: false| style:width: 360px; height: 225px;]]

Dem curves…

Oh, I forgot. You’re holding your next crown for the hot, young gal you have lined up in your next film.

[[contentId: 2445427| alt: | data-allowvote: false| style: width: 400px; height: 500px;]]

– Mark (twitter me)