England’s Prime Minister Porked A Pig

When it comes to political scandal, there are basically three kinds.  You can have the white collar type scandal – these are your financial scandals involving bribes and kickbacks that no one cares about except during an election period and only for the purposes of smearing someone else’s name.  In the long run they tend to go away.  Then you have your nefarious political Watergate style scandals that are movie material.  These things impeach Presidents and the press loves them.  but no scandal is more satisfying to the press and politicians alike than a sex scandal.  And np sex scandal, from Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky to Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account is anywhere near as insane as the one the British Prime Minister is currently enjoying.

David Cameron put his junk inside a dead pig.

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Imagine if news broke of Barack Obama banging a donkey, or Donald Trump with a horse.  Try to picture FOX and CNN trying not to lose their minds reporting on that.  It would be like 1000 Christmases all at once for the media.  So even though we’re a little removed from giving a damn because who knows who David Cameron is, that’s what’s happening in Britain right now.  People are basking in the glory of a tale of Cameron during his college days doing coke and banging swine.

According to a new book about the PM, back in the day Cameron joined a group called Piers Gaveston, an Oxford Dining Society.  Sounds lame, right?  Well, picture the Illuminati of dinner parties known for weird parties and filthy sex.  That’s the rumor, anyway.  And part of the initiation for Cameron involved a pig – it was dead if that makes it better or worse for you – that he put his wang in.  In its mouth, apparently.  So picture a pork roast minus the apple, plus a future world leader’s junk.  Go on, picture it.

So naturally this is the kind of story that the statement “pics or it didn’t happen” was made for, and as it happens word is there are actually pics of it somewhere out there.  Probably not any the rest of us are ever going to see, this really seems like a dirty Polaroid kind of event, but you never know. 

The story came from a member of Parliament about a year ago, who claimed he’d seen the evidence himself, but now it’s made its way into this new book about Cameron thanks to the fact this politician keeps telling the story.  He’s also included the dimensions of the photo, who owns the photo and details like how the pig head was in the lap of some other Piers Gaveston member at the time.

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So no, the people who wrote the book never saw this picture, but they figured a guy repeating the story three times to them made it real, kind of like a political, sex scandal Beetlejuice.  And apparently the use of pig heads was a common thing for this group at the time.  It was like silly string or noise makers at other peoples’s parties.

What’s the Prime Minister saying about the book and its allegations of his youth spent getting high, drunk and porking pigs?  Not much so far.  What can you say, really?