Creepy Videos: You Asked For It, You Got It

Creepy Videos

DO YOU HAVE ANY CREEPY VIDEOS FOR ME TO WATCH?

Hopefully you’re not going through any psychological or spiritual torment right now, although given what we all know to be true about the internet I can’t imagine any other reason for you to be searching it for creepy videos. But to answer your question, yeah, I think I can probably rustle up some creepy videos for you - but don’t come crying to me if you can’t get to sleep tonight. Or ever again.

Hey, this guy:

According to internet lore that I’m not going to bother researching (unlike you, this is just a gig for me, and I have no particular desire to be creeped out right now), that lovely singer is pedophile Edward Muscare, who as part of his parole as a registered sex offender was banned from using the internet at the time the video was taken (I can’t imagine why). The video went viral, and some cops saw it, and the guy got busted. Let this be a lesson to all of you: Don’t be a creepy child molester.

Not all creepy videos require a backstory to reach their full creepiness potential. I mean, just take a look at this gem:

I WONDER HOW SOPHIA VERGARA WOULD REACT TO THAT LAST CREEPY VIDEO.

That isn’t really a question, but I’m going to answer it anyway, since there does indeed exist a video of Sophia Vergara’s reaction to the video seemingly showing her peeling off an Emma Stone mask, Mission: Impossible style, and it comes to us courtesy of the fine folks at Entertainment Tonight, who clearly have NO idea how to process the very existence of such a video. Just check it out and see what I mean:

HOW ABOUT A CREEPY VIDEO THAT WASN’T DESIGNED TO BE CREEPY, YET IS NEVERTHELESS EXTREMELY CREEPY?

Creepiness is kind of like sexiness, in that the effect can sometimes be diminished if the person trying to achieve it is trying too hard. Hence, the creepiest videos out there are probably the ones that were made with completely different intentions. Like, as an example, this next video, which was ostensibly produced in order to advertise a children’s toy called Baby Laugh-A-Lot, but that in fact seems orchestrated to send every nerve in your body into acute fight or flight mode.

The next time you hear anyone hemming and hawing about a “more innocent time,” just show them that video - innocence has its consequences.

Not all creepy videos are dependent on the video medium to achieve their creepiness. Some of them are creepy merely by documenting a real-life creepy event, often times from the most horrifying sphere of existence of them all - nature. Take this next video, which shows what initially appears to be a mass of moss or something revealed to be … oh, oh god, no no no no no:

Nature isn’t a prerequisite for this phenomenon - there are plenty of totally manmade entities that weren’t designed to creep out bored people in 2015 but are nevertheless extremely adept at doing just that. One good example comes from a recording of a “numbers station,” which is a radio broadcast used to transmit secret messages to another individual party over an open frequency that can thus not be tracked to any specific person or decoded. Secret messages are creepy enough on their own, but just wait until you get a load of one of the most infamous numbers station broadcasts of them all.

Here’s the video:

DO YOU HAVE A CREEPY VIDEO THAT MIGHT MAKE FOR A GOOD GRAND FINALE?

The internet is a vast repository of creepy content, video or otherwise. So it would be impossible to provide something even close to a comprehensive overview of the subject in a single blog post, let alone one as short as this. But, as is often the case in these types of situations, there are a few compilations of creepy videos that should top you off in the creepy video department for the time being. Here’s a particularly popular example, number 2 in a series of creepy video compilations from a YouTube channel bluntly called “Psychedelic Imagery.” It certainly is:

It doesn’t get much creepier than that, at least not without graphic violence getting involved - and what’s the fun of that?