Crack Mayor Rob Ford Going To Rehab!

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Apr. 30, 2014

Toronto’s Mayor Rob Ford is finally putting down the crack pipe long enough to have a little bit of common sense and do the right thing for his health and the saftey of others. Wednesday, Ford’s lawyer, Dennis Morris told reporters that the tubby fan of french-fries, booze and crack cocaine is finally going on a rehab treatment program in order to deal with his substance abuse problems. Weird, Rob Ford never really seemed like a quitter to me, but who am I to judge. Good for him!  There is no word yet if Chris Farley on Steroids – Ford will drop out of this year’s city mayoral race for which he is up for reelection. In fact the mayor claims "The Ford Nation" is encouraging him not drop out with those around him staying in it to win it. This decision to get help comes after another fun video capturing Ford at a local bar, becoming belligerent; foul mouthed and ranting against his political opponent. In other words he was being Rob Ford.

The beer bottle I chugged was this long, but the crack pipe I smoked was a lot smaller, I swear.

While as a human being I wish Mayor Ford all the best in doing what’s right for himself, his family and the good people of Toronto… on an entertainment value level I am disappointed that the Rob Ford franchise may be close to coming to an end. For me watching Ford’s antics captured on video over the past year was sort of like watching all of the Saw movies. Each one kept getting worse and worse, but in a perverse way I was routing for them to keep going, torturing people on screen and off.

What fun will the Internet, Crack Jokes and Toronto be with a clean and sober Rob Ford? Think of the children Rob Ford! Think of the children! Look at all the joy you have brought us:

Drunk Rob Ford Threatening To Kill Someone

Rob Ford in his prime!

Drunken Jamaican Accent Rant at Fast Food Joint

Ah, the glory days.

Rob Ford Knocks Woman Over

OK, let's assume he wasn't even drunk in this one. Classic Ford.

Best Rob Ford News Blooper

The best.

Rob Ford Plays Soccer....

Way to beat that ten year old!

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