This Shoplifter Really Needed To Steal Some Cow Tongues, Because Florida

Jason Puckett of Florida (where else?) is facing shoplifting charges after police caught him trying to sneak out of a Walmart store with 6-and-a-half pounds valued at $35.35 of raw cow tongue in his pants.

The store’s security officers spotted Puckett stuffing the tongues into his pants and presumably after they were done giggling uncontrollably and able to regain their composure, they approached Puckett to prevent him from leaving the store.

Puckett left the store but police caught up to him and arrested on a misdemeanor charge of retail theft. An examination of his arrest records show he’s also faced charges of battery, assault, burglary, robbery, theft and credit card fraud. We can only hope that at least one of those charges also involved a cow tongue just to make this story a little more hilarious.

We don’t know what he planned to do with the cow tongues once he got them home and frankly, we don’t want to know because just about any answer sounds downright frightening. That includes “He planned to eat them.”

by Danny Gallagher

source: The Smoking Gun