Another Tale Of Sex With A Homeless Man And Beef In The Bathroom

There’s nothing good about this story, except how the whole thing comes together to weave a tapestry of awesome that Shakespeare only wishes he could have thought of on his most drunken and debauched days.  It begins as so many stories do, with a couple who decided to have a threesome with a hobo.

Please take a moment to reflect on your own lives.  Gentlemen, imagine a time when you may have had a stable and loving relationship with a woman and then invited a homeless man to live with you, and then talked with your girl, and then decided to sex that homeless man. Did you think of that time? 

Ladies (both of you), please do the same.  Imagine being with a man and living together and finding a homeless guy and thinking “Damn hobo, you got 50% of what I need” and then hooking up with both him and your husband.  You need to be in this frame of mind to really get into the story.

So as it happens, Martin and Daniela Miller had been living with a vagrant and decided to double down with him one night.  And hey, that’s cool if that’s your thing.  But that’s where the trouble started.  If you know anything about 3 ways you know living with all three parties is not a good idea.  You need space to get rid of the 3rd wheel, man.  But the Millers didn’t know that and so things started to get awkward.  According to Michael Chaney, our vagabond, Martin became very jealous. And why shouldn’t he?  He was outsexed by a travelling bonersmith, a man who lives by his loins on the road, and doesn’t even need a home.  That’s emasculating. 

Satisfaction!

Post coitus one day, Michael was in the kitchen cooking up a big ol pot of ground beef.  Sloppy Joes?  No one knows.  Doesn’t matter.  He takes a spoon, piles it high with delicious cooked beef, and heads off to the bathroom.  Daniela is having a bath as Michael offers her some of his tasty beef but Martin, who is also in the bathroom, perhaps supervising the tub fun, is not having this beefy interruption.  In a rage, he takes the beef and throws it into the bath with Daniela, destroying all her hard won hygiene.

Undeterred by the beef based act of violence, Michael went back to the kitchen, got another spoonful of beef, and brought it back to the bathroom.  If this were our lunch hour in the back alley we’d ask you to place a bet on what happened next.   If you guessed Martin took the beef and did the same damn thing, you’d be correct.

Pan fulla sex

Michael and Martin began to argue because a man can only watch his beef fly into a tub full of naked lady so many times before it gets to him. The argument escalated to the point where Martin told Michael he was going to kick his ass and Michael gave him the go ahead to try it.  Unfortunately for hobo Michael, aside from hating beef. Martin was also a Marine and, let’s be honest, all things being equal you don’t want to try your hand against a Marine if you don’t absolutely have to.

As you might expect, marine Martin kicked the ever loving snot out of hobo Michael and choked him.  Martin was charged with assault by strangulation.  But did he win?  On Daniela’s Facebook page, as of September 13th, her status has bene updated to “in a relationship with Michael Chaney.”  Does the hobo laugh triumphant? 

Daniela has very little info available on her Facebook page to the public, but she seems to like cats, WWE wrestling and rap music, and the only restaurants she’s liked are a pizza place and Hooters.  This homeless guy may have scored big time.  We wish them all the best.