How To Tell What Kind of Person Someone is Based on Tattoos

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Mar. 21, 2014

Tattoos are bigger than ever.  36% of adults 18 to 25 have at least one tattoo and there are over 20,000 tattoo shops in America today.  There are also about that many reality shows about tattoos on Spike TV alone. Who are the kind of people getting tattoos and do they have any meaning?  Probably more than the people getting them think.

Tramp Stamp

 

 

99.9% of tramp stamps or “lower back tattoos” as some girls blindly call them, are given to women.  That small fraction of men who have one are not to be trusted.  As for the ladies who have them, you’re dealing with one of two types of girls. The first is the one who was not consciously aware that this tattoo is basically an arrow pointing to her ass and the second is the type who was aware of this fact.  Both can be delightful and charming but only the second kind is an honest and well adjusted human being who can take a joke and is generally fun to be around.  The first can easily become offended simply by virtue of her curious naiveté and the fact she doesn’t like you referring to that little pair of angel wings as a “target.”

Knuckle tats

 

 

An old cliché now, tattoos across the knuckles generally spell out some clever yet short message.  Love and hate used to be the traditional ones, but maybe you want to get “Taco Bell.”  The sky’s the limit with four letter words.  So who’s willing to do this to their hands, to give the world a quick, concise message without even saying a word on first meeting?  Odds are you’ve got someone who’s at least a little bit witty and unpredictable, but also quite possibly unstable.  It’s clever and fun to have a quick four letter message tattooed on your, but don’t forget you see it best when the person is showing you their fist.

Face Tat

 

 

Who gets a tattoo on their face?  Mike Tyson has a face tattoo, as do a number of felons around the country.  To get a face tattoo you have to be fully aware that you’re marking your face, permanently, for reasons that likely boil down to you thinking it will make you look cooler.  Permanent marks on your face to make you look cool.  If you’re right now thinking people with face tattoos are goofy or stupid, backburner that thought and consider how utterly insane they must also be.  These people have nothing to lose in life.  Do you have the balls to get a face tattoo?  Hell no.  And you must never mock the kind of person who does have one to their face, because 9 out of 10 of those people are probably 2 minor inconveniences in their day away from murder.

Non-English Script

 

 

Japanese, Chinese and every so often something like Hebrew, you will rarely ever see such a tattoo on a Japanese or Chinese person.  And while there’s nothing technically wrong with appreciating the style of another language, there is something to be said for the number of tattoos produced at the height of this fad that were done in backrooms by tattoo interns at the behest of people who did poor research and ended up with mistranslated words or botched, gibberish lettering.  The lesson being, if you want something written on you in Chinese, maybe ask a Chinese person to write it.  The people who got these tattoos without doing such research are clearly impatient, gullible and possibly closet drunks.

Butthole tattoo

 

 

 Not to be mistaken with a tattoo of a butthole, this means a tattoo on your butthole.  It’s rare but probably not as rare as you’d think.  What kind of person gets a butthole tattoo? Evidence seems to suggest only the most truly unstable, mad as a hatter types of lunatics and, occasionally, porn stars.

Tribal

 

 

One of the most overdone styles of art in the last 25 years of tattooing, Tribal tattoos are meant to stylistically mimic the art and design of Polynesian tribal tattoos, thought to be some of the first tattoos ever.  A good way of judging the character of anyone with a modern tribal tattoo is to ask what tribe they’re a part of.  Depending on the answer you get you can determine that this person is someone with a deeply held respect for tradition, or an easily influenced sheeple.

Finger Tattoos

 

 

Tiny tattoos on your fingers, popularized with the mustache tattoo, have taken off in the last decade.  They’re also bad ideas because finger tattoos don’t last by virtue of their location – they require numerous touch ups to keep them looking their best.  That means the person getting their finger tattooed is either one of those fly-by-night aloof types who don’t care that their ink is going to look crappy until they go get it fixed or they’re just a bandwagon jumper who thought a finger tattoo looked clever and researched it in no way whatsoever.  In either event, don’t trust them with your cash or children.

Portrait

 

 

 Good portrait or bad, there’s one of two possibilities for the person who gets a photorealistic tattoo done – they’re either a gambler or a complete bonehead.  The reason for this is obvious once you’ve seen one brutally rendered terrible mistake of a portrait.  To risk doing that to yourself means you either have the utmost faith in this artist, or you have no idea what the hell is going on and you were probably drinking before you showed up.  Either way this person is a risk taker.

 

30 comments
Paul-Danny-269
Paul-Danny-269 User

Wow you're really ignorant. Who are you to judge someone based on what tattoo they have and where. All of those words to tell everyone what a judgmental prick you are. Are you really so dissatisfied with yourself that you feel need to place judgment on the tattoos of people you never have nor ever will meet. Or are you just so arrogant you think your opinion actually matters to those who have decided to get a tattoo, which very likely has a very personal meaning, which has nothing to do with you OR your opinion?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EquNRPO1w&hd=1


Dan Schlueter
Dan Schlueter

This doesn't touch a vast majority of tats, has massive grammar errors, and basically just says the same thing 5 different times. Break, stop trying to pretend you have anything to say and just go back to nut shot videos.

fourtony
fourtony User

I have 15 tats and none are covered in an of these category. Yaaaay ya!

Fayomade Sanmi
Fayomade Sanmi

People with a lot of time and don't know what to do with it

Grow-a-Pear
Grow-a-Pear User

Ian-Fortey (author with an hyphenated name... can we categorize names like he/she does by tattoo? that is, anyone who can't choose which one to use has "fill in the blank" issues?) My colleagues and I used to refer to people like this as pseudo-intellectuals. A person who claims to be knowledgeable on things they have absolutely no understanding about.


Thanks for wasting a few minutes of my time with your preconceived and ignorant ideas.


...judge much?

Shannon-Burns-765
Shannon-Burns-765 User

Wow you're really ignorant. Who are you to judge someone based on what tattoo they have and where. All of those words to tell everyone what a judgmental prick you are. Are you really so dissatisfied with yourself that you feel need to place judgment on the tattoos of people you never have nor ever will meet. Or are you just so arrogant you think your opinion actually matters to those who have decided to get a tattoo, which very likely has a very personal meaning, which has nothing to do with you OR your opinion?

Jeni Cox Lyon
Jeni Cox Lyon

Kacee Harris we were just talking about tattoo's!

gossdawg
gossdawg User

how to tell what type of person someone is based on these hideous tattoos: someone insecure who wants everyone to think theyre cool.... you know, the person at the bar who shows you all their tattoos and goes into a 10 minute diatribe about why they got a tattoo of a wizard on their forearm

KCjoker
KCjoker User

It's Kimo from the early UFC days.

meph667
meph667 User

Whoever wrote this was neither funny nor accurate. Your poorly contrived observations are wrong. You think because you've spent a bit off time googling tattoo ideas it makes you a pro on pidgeon holing the psychology of someone based on their tattoo and their experience in their life that brought them to get that tattoo is poorly put together. Maybe next time try to educate if you have a soap box to stand on , instead of your misguided attempt in being funny. Poorly written trash with no good point of view. I'm sad I wasted my time reading your garbage.

Matthew Conrad
Matthew Conrad

The "insane face tattooed guy" you have pictured in Enigma. He's a really cool guy to talk to. Very intelligent. He had the balls to be different. You put him down for that. I admire him for it. Whoever wrote this up is ignorant.

ceprn
ceprn User

Does it matter?  They are all ignorant douchebags with poor judgement and even poorer impulse control

Matt-Kim-806
Matt-Kim-806 User

you know what's weird… i studied a lot to define categories of people correctly

@16611814

ispewmalarkey
ispewmalarkey User

@ceprn  You forgot the "in my opinion" disclaimer at the beginning.

David-Jetta-337
David-Jetta-337 User

You are actually defining ignorance by saying anyone with a tattoo is a ignorant douchebag. People all have their reasons for tattoos. It doesn't matter. Don't read a book by its cover.