An Undertaker Is Using Topless Calendars To Sell Coffins

Even if you’ve never set foot in an advertising or marketing class, there’s one rule that everyone knows: sex sells. Even just typing the word “sex” has probably netted this story a couple extra hundred or so hits and gotten you to read this far even though it’s just keeping for you from the topless photos you know are already coming. That’s why an undertaker is using the power of naked breasts to increase his coffin sales, even though death is really the biggest growth industry in the world.

The Mirror reported that coffin maker Lindner has released a new calendar featuring topless ladies posing with coffins as part of a promotional offer to help undertakers sell more of their grim wares. So it’s just like the wall calendars that mechanics have of hot chicks riding large power tools except the the girls in this calendar are riding coffins and they are hanging on the wall of a morgue. Come to think of it, I’d rather not imagine what the kind of guy who hangs these calendars in his morgue is doing while he works.

The company says that they wanted to come up with a way to feature their coffin’s natural beauty because they are “only seen a few moments at the funeral.” It also must be hard to admire the craftsmanship behind an eye full of tears and worries about losing a person you love. You know, “distractions.”