Comcast Customer Service Call From Hell!

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Jul. 15, 2014

You have to hear this to believe it.  Most of us would have told this customer service guy to F off, hung up or demanded to speak to his supervisor long before things escalated to the point that they do. Lucky for us former Comcast internet customer Ryan Block recorded the maddeningly frustrating interaction he had trying to cancel his service and posted it to Sound Cloud.

It’s really a “delight” to listen to the insanity of it. Anyone who has ever had a bad, batshit crazy interaction with a customer service rep will relate to this. In the post Block explains the situation:

“Please note: this conversation starts about 10 minutes in -- by this point my wife and I are both completely flustered by the oppressiveness of the rep. So! Last week my wife called to disconnect our service with Comcast after we switched to another provider (Astound). We were transferred to cancellations (aka "customer retention"). The representative (name redacted) continued aggressively repeating his questions, despite the answers given, to the point where my wife became so visibly upset she handed me the phone. Overhearing the conversation, I knew this would not be very fun. What I did not know is how oppressive this conversation would be. Within just a few minutes the representative had gotten so condescending and unhelpful I felt compelled to record the speakerphone conversation on my other phone. This recording picks up roughly 10 minutes into the call, whereby she and I have already played along and given a myriad of reasons and explanations as to why we are canceling (which is why I simply stopped answering the rep's repeated question -- it was clear the only sufficient answer was "Okay, please don't disconnect our service after all.").”

Here is the eight minute conversation in all its glory. Skip through it and find some nuggets of madness such as “Help me understand why you don’t want faster internet speeds!”

Wow. I need a shot. In the end Block and his wife are allowed to cancel their service.  #FreeCountry. Maybe his technique in battling the rep wasn’t up to snuff and led to this lengthy exchange? There has to be a faster take down to break their preprogrammed, rehearsed relentlessness to keep customers at all costs. When the guy asks why he wants to cancel the service he should have told him that he’s not going to need it soon because he is dying of a terminal illness. Case closed. OR they should just cancel the damn service because he asked them to! What would have you said to this tyrannical Comcast guy?

I actually start to feel bad for the Comcast representative at a certain point. What is happening at that call center for him to care that much about Comcast subscriptions in this deranged and desperate way?  Is he being held hostage? Does he lose a toe for each customer lost? If he doesn’t retain the customers for the company does Comcast execute one of his family members? I really think the FBI needs to investigate what the hell is happening over there. The way this Comcast employee is behaving leads me to believe that somewhere there is a Comcast Call Center with representatives on the phone lines who were purchased from a human trafficking ring and are being forced to work against their will or face corporal punishment at the hands of sadistic guards. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

Unless Jack Bauer Gets You To Keep Comcast Everyone Dies.

Although... This is right up there on the border of being written off as a hoax; someone’s improv group got bored one Friday night and decided to play “Bad Customer Service.” However, I'd argue that it’s just plausible enough to pass muster as authentic. What do you think?

The real "Comcast Call Center?"

For comparison, did you ever try to cancel AOL back in the day? Some of us cut our teeth battling customer service reps by attempting to disconnect dialup internet. They were the masters of not letting you cancel your service.

 

 

Try to cancel Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney