If you were cool in college, you probably hid “illegal” paraphernalia in your dorm. I’m not talking about guns or explosives. I’m talking about bongs, alcohol, and if you were really rebellious, a hot plate.One student broke the rules and had a beer funnel (or beer bong as it is commonly called) in his dorm room.
This is a visual approximation of his dorm room situation.
The Residential Life Coordinator ended up confiscating the bong during a round of “Health and Safety Inspections” (whatever the hell that is) and wrote an email to the student asking, “who will be taking responsibility” for this prohibited item, which is obviously a threat to health and safety.
The unnamed student didn’t miss a beat and responded, saying that he uses the beer bong as “a high capacity enema funnel” for his chronic gastrointestinal issues.
His well-researched and deep details about his health issues leaves no room for argument. Whether it is true or not, it will go down in history as one of the best excuses ever.
Let’s just hope that the funnel is used ONLY for enemas and not also beer.