Rumors have existed for years but now we have proof – CNN has prepared a video that it will run in the event the world comes to an end. This is the most CNN thing you will ever hear. If only it involved Don Lemon in some way.
CNN employees have apparently known the video as an urban legend for decades now – it’s one of those things everyone at the network knew about, but rarely did word of it ever slip out anywhere else. However, once in an interview back in the 1980s, Ted Turner, owner of the network, mentioned in an interview that CNN would be broadcasting right up until the end, play Nearer My God to Thee, then sign off. Turns out it wasn’t a joke.
The video, of exceptional 1980s quality, features a military band playing the aforementioned hymn. This was the song rumored to be playing on the Titanic as it sank. It’s how CNN would like us to wish human life goodbye. So if the world does come to an end, if you have a moment before dying, why not tune in to CNN and have a look? Or, if you feel like you may be too busy at that time, you can just watch it now.
Underwhelming, isn’t it? In fairness, this has to compete with the apocalypse, and there was really no way it would be more spectacular, so it seems like CNN felt that being subdued was the way to go. We’ll never be able to look back and decide if it was the right choice or not.
This is generally accepted to be the video that would play for a nuclear holocaust of some kind, so it’s at least plausible that CNN would actually have a small bit of advanced warning about the end of the world, at least in that scenario. Why anyone is watching CNN at that time is another matter altogether.
We can thank a former CNN employee for the release of the video, even if it’s 30 years past its prime, who took a copy and posted it on a Gawker site, apparently in an effort to confirm that there is no one “good” 24 hour news network, they’re all equally ridiculous.
Do other networks have an apocalypse plan? We can only hope. No doubt FOX would have an amazing send off to the world, and maybe some of the cable networks could really put together something special. TLC could have gypsies and fat people singing “We are the World.” AMC could have the cast of Walking Dead assuring us they’ll be here to keep things kosher once the zombies take over. FX could just get Louis CK to tell us we’re all screwed.
Networks, if you have apocalypse videos, now’s the time to share them. Think about it – if you wait until literally the last minute, you’ll never know if yours was the best or not.