What exactly constitutes a miracle, or even if real miracles exist at all, is truly in the eye of the beholder. For some it’s when your kicker makes a meaningless extra point at the end of the game to cover the spread, and for others it’s when a communion wafer starts spurting blood.
The strange tale of how the wafer become the subject of investigation starts with the little wafer being given back by a congregant. Because it had been consecrated, it couldn’t be thrown away so a priest put it in holy water to properly get rid of it.
Within three days, the fancy cracker had seemed to have started bleeding. If this happens from your Costco Ritz Crackers, you have a law suit on your hands but since it happened in a church, people started going bonkers.
The head of the local committee investigating the possibly miraculous cracker said “Whatever the outcome of the investigation, we can use this time to renew our faith and devotion in the greatest miracle — the Real Presence of Jesus Christ that takes place at every Mass.”
In the interest of science and to honor our religious friends, we here have decided to replicate the wafer into bloody wafer scenario using an ordinary Nilla Wafer and a glass of tap water. Guess what? It got soggy and no blood.
Is it real? Is it a miracle? Only time will tell, but for now we can at least safely say that you shouldn’t dunk your Nilla Wafers in tap water.