OK, this is probably the funniest thing you are going to read today that features the words cancer and AIDS. That’s because a newspaper in China, the Oriental Daily ran a fake obituary stating that 65 year old Jimmy Lai the owner of its main rival newspaper, the Apple Daily died on August 7th of cancer and AIDS. How backward and awful. In China people still read newspapers! They should really get an iPad, they sure make enough of them.
This could be saying anything, let's be honest.
To top it off the obituary said that Lai’s relatives were also so sick and ill that no one was available to even give the man a funeral. Damn. I guess, haters gonna hate? Seriously though who does that? Who owns this newspaper? Is it the Chinese version of Donald Trump? To be fair, the Oriental Daily did change ONE character of Lai’s name which is pronounced the same, but otherwise all of his biographical information is the same. Did you hear Roopurt Merdock, owner of Fox News died accidently during autoerotic asphyxiation?
Now before you guys start freaking out, let me remind you that no one actually died, or has a terminal disease in this story. Jimmy Lai responded saying;
"They want me to die? Is it really that easy? Sorry to disappoint you."
Did not die of Cancer - AIDS.
The people who own the Hong Kong newspaper the Oriental Daily are just a bunch of serious assholes… or the kings of the trolls. I mean, when you troll someone on the internet at least it’s all just a bunch of ones and zeroes and can easily be deleted at a moment’s notice. These guys are old school and put words in print stating a man died of Cancer AIDS which is easily twice as serious as cancer or AIDS alone. There’s no delete button once that paper goes out to everyone in Hong Kong. That’s commitment! And really bad karma.
Make Things Up About Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney