South Africa has had a long and controversial history, with the gorgeous landscape better known for its years of apartheid and triumphant return of leader Nelson Mandela than any of its other accomplishments. After Mandela and the inspiring story of courage he represented, perhaps the most famous offspring of the country is the statuesque beauty known as Charlize Theron. We know why you’re here, and that’s to see her naked, and fear not, we will be happy to oblige as to where you can cast your eyes upon her gorgeous body. It’s not surprising that she began her career modeling, with her stunning looks and long legs making that career path a no brainer. She was far more ambitious than that though, eventually deciding to become a dancer and then an actress. She has parlayed her fame into a powerful second career as a political activist, taking the passion we have all seen from her on screen into the realm of making a difference to people from many walks of life. Don’t forget though, not that you could, that it was her gorgeous looks that first brought her to fame and along those lines, you probably are ready to see even more of her than you are used to. Come along, and we will take you along the path as we answer the question of:
WHERE CAN I SEE CHARLIZE THERON NUDE?
The first time many audiences got a glimpse of Charlize was in 1996’s “2 Days in the Valley.” Although she had a relatively small role in the ensemble cast, she burned up the screen as a tough as nails hitwoman. Always wanted to see James Spader with an ice cube in his mouth licking a nipple? Charlize Theron’s nipple at that? Then you are definitely in luck.
I SURE AS HELL LIKED THAT CLIP. ANY MORE?
Speaking of hell, you would likely enjoy her scenes in 1997’s “The Devil’s Advocate.” It includes a full frontal scene, but isn’t quite as hot as it could be as her character has been attacked and is bruised. Darn that devil! Anyway, she also has a non-bruised scene with co-star Keanu Reeves, who seems to enjoy playing with her naked body. We say “seems to” as Mr. Reeves only has one real facial expression, so whether he is aroused or is thinking of mutilated gerbils is something only he would know. Either way, the clip does give the audience plenty to enjoy.
I REALLY LIKE LOOKING AT SOUTH AFRICAN BUTTS, ESPECIALLY WHEN TOBEY MAGUIRE IS ALSO LOOKING AT THEM. I THINK THAT EVEN HAPPENED ONCE, OR WAS IT A DREAM?
It wasn’t a dream, as it was in fact a very memorable scene in 1999’s “The Cider House Rules.” (By the way, we hope by “South African Butts” you meant Charlize rather than say Winnie Mandela, as that would just be wrong on so many levels.) This clip shows the young Tobey admiring Charlize lying on her back with a perfect glimpse of her impeccable booty. Whether or not that cider house ruled, you can be sure that Ms. Theron’s derriere certainly rules.
I THINK JOAQUIN PHOENIX IS A GREAT ACTOR AND IS REALLY COOL. BESIDES HIS ACTING TALENTS, ARE THERE OTHER THINGS ABOUT HIM THAT ARE AWESOME?
Well, if having a scene with a topless Charlize Theron counts as awesome (which it definitely does), then add that to the list. In 1999’s “The Yards,” she takes off her shirt in bed with Mr. Phoenix. He doesn’t do anything with an ice cube like James Spader, but then again, that’s likely something that can only be done once per career.
WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO SEE CHARLIZE THERON HAVE SEX WITH BATMAN?
We likely never will see her hooking up with Bruce Wayne or a dude in a bat suit (although she would be a great Catwoman, eh?), but one of her most memorable sex scenes in film was in 2000’s “Reindeer Games” opposite Ben Affleck, the new Batman. The scene is quite graphic, and although it doesn’t have any reindeers or any other kind of hooved animal, it is the type of game that her many fans would appreciate much more than seeing Rudolf of red-nosed fame.
ANY CHANCE YOU CAN TRACK DOWN ANY LESBIAN SCENES WITH CHARLIZE THERON?
She does have a lesbian tryst with co-star Christina Ricci in 2003’s “Monster,” but the film that changed Charlize’s career path is the opposite of sexy. She won an Oscar for her radical transformation playing the unattractive serial killer Aileen Wuornos, and although the film does have nudity, it is hardly erotic.
She has become quite outspoken about gay issues in the years since. In 2006, she had this to say about gay marriage when speaking to members of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. “I feel so fortunate to be in a relationship with a wonderful man, not that there's anything wrong with other kinds of relationships—with humans, animals, or even inanimate objects. Yet I find it incredibly unfair that because of my sexual preference I have rights that you all don't. Therefore, I will not get married until gay marriage is legally recognized in the United States, even though I plan to continue registering as a heterosexual."
Her intense performance forced her to get into character, and getting out of character was a challenge. She said that “While I was shooting the film, I had to switch off. There was just no way that I could go through the entire film— I knew that I was going to just get burned out. And so I found a great way of letting go. I don't really watch a lot of television, and I would watch mindless, mindless television.” Consider that one of the rare times people can properly endorse watching bad tv!
What was it like for her to go from gorgeous to ugly? “There were no prosthetics used. She had teeth made for me—they were sculpted, every tooth was literally sculpted. Contacts, of course. Liquid latex, which is like a liquid moisturizer that you put on the face, and you dry it with a hair dryer, and stretch it out, and it gets really leathery looking.”
She continued by saying the make-up artist “would paint layers and layers of tattoo colors with a spray gun, like an airbrush machine, and would just kind of get this dimension on the skin. And then the only thing she used was latex on the top of my eyelids to make them a little heavier. She plucked all my eyebrows and bleached them out because Aileen had barely any eyebrows.”
OK, THAT WAS KIND OF GROSS. CAN YOU TURN THE TIDE AND SHOW ME SOMETHING SUPER DUPER SEXY WITH CHARLIZE?
Would you consider her co-star performing oral sex on her hot? We sure would. In 2004’s “Head in the Clouds,” she has a memorable scene of just that nature. The actor has his head somewhere and it certainly isn’t in the clouds.This compilation offers the best clips from the film.
HOW DOES CHARLIZE FEEL ABOUT DOING SEX SCENES IN MOVIES?
She has done quite a lot of them, as we have discovered, and she of course has thoughts on the subject. “It depends on who you’re doing the sex scene with. I don’t have issues being naked. That sounds very slutty. What I mean is, I’m not hung up on my body, and I’ve been lucky to work with people I’ve been really comfortable with.” We in the audience can also proudly say we feel lucky for getting to see these scenes.
HAS CHARLIZE THERON BEEN IN PLAYBOY?
She has, but not by choice. After she had achieved fame, Playboy put her on the cover in 1999 and included photos taken years earlier. She sued the magazine, but wasn’t successful. What may have been her loss is our gain, as the pictures are damn sexy.
HAS CHARLIZE THERON MADE A SEX TAPE?
She hasn’t made a bona fide one, but she did help put together a very funny piece for Funny or Die entitled “Charlize Theron’s Kinky Sex Tape.” It is very funny, very weird and very unsexy, unless you find its specific brand of weird kink sexy. Either way, it’s definitely worth checking out for comedic value if not for titillation.
WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO KISS CHARLIZE THERON?
You could ask Sean Penn (who she has been dating since late 2013) that, but he would probably punch you in the mouth. Charlize did though open up about her very first kiss, which came at about age 12. “He had braces. We were in the backyard. And you'd think I might not be a good kisser because of this first kiss. Anyway, it was in the backyard after we just had watched Friday the 13th. What a real romance movie!”
She continued the tale by saying “we were just standing there because it was so planned. Like okay, you're gonna come over, watch a movie, then we kiss. His name was Nicky. We were standing in the backyard and I'm like, you wanna do it, you wanna do it? Well, okay, then let's do it. And we're standing there arguing about it for so long, it was just awful. But then it was darkness, saliva and tongue.”