Charlie Sheen Told Donald Trump To ‘Suck A Bag Of Soiled Dicks’ In An NSFW Rant

Charlie Sheen was a hot shot in the eighties, starring in films like Wall Street and Platoon. As his career continued into the 2000’s, he nabbed the starring role on the hit sitcom Two and a Half Men alongside Jon Cryer. His stint on the once-popular television show came to an end in 2011, however, after his ever-infamous breakdown where he spent a few months talking about “winning” and drinking tiger blood. Managing to stay out of the limelight for a few years afterwards, it wasn’t until he revealed that he is HIV positive in late 2015 that Sheen made headlines…

…and then a few months later people stopped caring about him again.

What I’m hinting at here is that Sheen is bored. When you’re a celebrity with millions of dollars completely at your disposal, what’s left to do when buying foreign cars, banging hot women with loose morals and blowing the world’s snowiest coke gets old?

Answer: spew inanities on Twitter until the blogs notice, pick it up and POOF! You’re magically relevant for another 20 minutes or so. Tila Tequila does the same thing, though instead of 20 minutes she gets 10 seconds and finger wag for thinking that praising Hitler was really the best way to go when it came to getting attention from the masses:

TILA TWEETS

As for Charlie Sheen, sadly his tweets are even less coherent. To the untrained eye it looks like he’s having another breakdown – to me, it looks like he’s crying for attention. To everyone else, he looks like he’s having a stroke. The good logical money is on the stroke, but I like to think of myself of a dark horse contestant anyway:

Sheen went and deleted his third tweet, but since this is the Internet and nothing ever dies, the text has been preserved for prying eyes. In the same incoherent fashion, he wrote:

“fine,

i’m just gonna say,

WHAT EVERYONE

NEEDS TO;

Suck

A

Bag

Of

Soiled dicks,

You FASCIST,

Legally retarded,

DESPOTIC

IMBECILE

©2.0”

Yes, the line breaks were all included. No, I did not edit for clarity or to make this read worse than it already does.

Never change, Charlie. Never change.