Insane Cat Defeats Cat Whisperer

Back in March, a black and white demon cat named Lux forced its owner to call 911 to escape its furry-ous wrath (get it?  Furry!  Ha!), after the cat scratched the face of their baby and then somehow bullied at least two adults and a dog into a locked room where police got involved.  One has to assume this cat is a cross between Garfield, and an Alien Queen. 

Police arrived and freed the family, probably by opening a can of tuna, and the cat was exorcised from the home permanently, perhaps one day to be made into a film by Insidious filmmaker James Wan.  But what of the cat?

The cat was taken in by a new family under the guidance of celebrity cat Whisperer Jackson Galaxy.  You may recall Galaxy from his very own meme that was inspired entirely by his curious job title combined with his insane facial hair.  Anyone with a meme can be trusted fully.

Galaxy diagnosed the cat with feline asshole syndrome, which is sometimes called feline hyperesthesia syndrome.  It means what you think it means – this cat is a jerk.  It will act like an unpredictable jerk.  You should medicate it.  So they medicated the cat.  Only it didn’t work.

Lux’s new owners have again been railroaded by their menace of a devil cat, possibly now fueled by the rage of knowing it’s involved with an Animal Planet show called My Cat From Hell and/or the expert opinions of a hipster guitar player with a Hunger Games beard.

The Mad Cat of Portland is now at a foster home awaiting the next victim who thinks they, along with a man who trained himself in cat behavior, may be able to tame his wild ways.  Will they be successful?  Only time will tell.