CAR PRANKS: AUTO-MATIC GAGS

car penis

Long before Henry Ford perfected the assembly line, the Prius was sneaking up on people with its quiet efficiency and strangely vagina-like presence, the Dodge brothers were doing those idiotic commercial, Danica Patrick was supposedly fooling people into thinking she was either sexy or a good athlete, or even before Michael J. Fox was tooling around in a car designed by a coke dealer, there were pranks. Toss in a century and a quarter of car culture to the mix, and you’d be bound to get some good car pranks, which is the focus of today’s missive. You have come to the right place indeed, so fuel up, check your oil, pump your brakes and throttle your engine as we hit the road to find

 

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE BEST CAR PRANKS?

A car is a hugely versatile machine, as it can do things like get you places, act as place to bone your girlfriend, or serve as a setting for two cops drinking coffee on a stakeout in any generic movie. Naturally, it is a bastion of pranks as well, but sadly, most of the more common pranks tend to rank highly on the idiotic scale. This one though is a bit more clever, or perhaps the victim in question is just waaaaay dumb.

[[contentId: 348455| | size: 75]]

A good prank should definitely have high stakes. Thinking you’ve ruined someone’s car while playing basketball is always a good start.

[[contentId: 346431| | size: 75]]

This one is a definite classic for many reasons. It clearly took some time to set up, it does indeed prank the guy in question, but most importantly, it totally backfires in the end resulting in making a child cry. Truly wrong on every level, except of course on the litmus test of “Yeah, it’s funny because they are all idiots.”

[[contentId: 1902019| | size: 75]]

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A CAR PRANK AND JUST AN IDIOT DOING SOMETHING TO ANOTHER IDIOT INVOLVING A CAR?

The question is somewhat akin to the eternal question of : Which came first – the chicken, the egg, or the buttmunch who tosses the egg at the guy’s house? Some pranks take very little effort indeed, and perhaps that’s why the stakes are so low. This guy gets his car covered in plastic wrap. Oh no. It might take him all of 48 seconds to clean that off! Think what he could have done if he had that time back in his life? Clearly he could have solved most of the crisis in the Middle East.

[[contentId: 2411093| | size: 75]]

The family classic film “Home Alone” features a memorable scene with an elaborate staging involving the villains slipping on toy cars. This dork tries to reenact the scene and of course someone gets hurt. Luckily, that’s the funny part as per one of the holy axioms of great comedy : morons being injured makes for big laughs.

[[contentId: 1963895| | size: 75]]

Whenever a dog eats part of a car, it is worthy of mention. Though this might not technically be considered a car prank by humans, according to our sources in the canine world, this four legged guy is known as the Ashton Kutcher of dogs and this “prank” is one of his classics.

[[contentId: 1871372| | size: 75]]

ARE THERE ANY CAR PRANKS THAT OFFER “HOW TO LESSONS,” BAD BANJO MUSIC, STUPID WIVES AND OBVIOUSLY FAKE EFFECTS?

Clearly you are referring to this piece of cinematic crapola that is equal parts prank and equal parts good reason for the North Koreans to think Americans are idiots with zip ties. Kids don’t try this at home. Not because it’s dangerous, but mostly because there are many better things to do with your time.

[[contentId: 690435| | size: 75]]

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TIE A ZIP TIE, DO ANYTHING CLEVER, FEEL LIKE EXERTING MY BRAIN IN ANY WAY OR HAVE MUCH ELSE TO DO TODAY. YET I STILL WANT TO DO A CAR PRANK. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

We are always happy to help the more lame and stupid folk out there, as it’s not really their fault that they have IQs somewhat lower than a random stuffed animal. For those, we can suggest a variation on what is likely a prank that goes back to caveman days. Yep, that’s right. Waiting and hiding and then jumping out to scare someone.

[[contentId: 818583| | size: 75]]

There are countless variations on this ol’ chestnut of pranking. Here’s what happens when you scare a hot chick in the back seat of a car. (Not to be confused with that time we scared a hot chick in the back seat of our car by telling her that we had herpes.)

[[contentId: 2311801| | size: 75]]

Another variation on this theme can be seen in this video, which features a guy whose mustache is so annoying that it literally screams out “car prank me!”

[[contentId: 2452486| | size: 75]]

I AM FEELING FESTIVE. ANY GOOD HOLIDAY CAR PRANKS YOU CAN SHARE?

Well, this one might not quite qualify on the all-time classic list, but it does involve Christmas lights and idiots both on the giving and receiving end of the prank. Is it better to give than to receive? In this case it’s a dead tie on the hierarchy of morons.

[[contentId: 1963903| | size: 75]]

ARE THERE ANY CAR PRANKS THAT ACTUALLY HAVE ANY ARTISTIC MERIT OR GET EXTRA POINTS FOR INGENUITY?

That’s a truly subjective question, but this image of an ass-load of post it notes covering a car is pretty cool looking.

This one gets points for visual panache as well.

In truth, the best car pranks actually have a purpose behind them in addition to mere comedy. This one sprinkles the notion of revenge into the mix. Hate double parkers? Spray paint their cars.

Chicks getting covered with soap and water may or may not count as artistic, but they can be nice components of car pranks. This piece takes the classic theme of a car wash that washes more than just the car and adds a cute yet stupid ginger.

[[contentId: 2384849| | size: 75]]

This video is actually among our favorites as it took some effort and ingenuity to pull off. Burying a dude’s car in snow is impressive, but even more impressive is that this video was actually shot in Hawaii. How did they keep the snow from melting? Do they even have cars in Hawaii? How did they choose the cheesy music for the clip? These and many other mysteries may never be known, but it’s safe to say that this video is clearly the best piece of film since “Citizen Kane.”

[[contentId: 690079| | size: 75]]

WHAT’S THE LINE BETWEEN CAR PRANKS AND JUST TERRIBLE DRIVING?

It can sometimes be hard to tell what is a car prank and what is a car accident. For example, this piece could be seen as a hilarious prank or as an example of sub-human driving. Either way, it’s better than driving with a Sarah Palin fan. Unless it’s the real Sarah Palin, as rumor has it, she’ll pull over, get in the backseat with you, and role play “Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky” for hours.

[[contentId: 211284| | size: 75]]

CAN A CAR PRANK GET YOU OUT OF A D.U.I.?

In real life, probably not. In the magical world of idiotic internet videos, the answer is a resounding “meh, maybe?” Take this example, which involves a fool, drunkenness, and a car prank. You know – what high school kids in Alabama refer to as “Wednesday.”

[[contentId: 211284| | size: 75]]

CAN A CAR PRANK INVOLVING DRAGGING SOMEONE WITH YOUR CAR BE FUNNY?

Surprisingly, the answer is “maybe.” This piece took some elaborate staging to pull off, although it would have been even funnier if they had dragged one of the Koch Brothers instead. As you’ll likely ascertain, no one was actually hurt making this video but in the blooper reel, they actually murdered 19 people. So, as a whole, it might be slightly less funny.

[[contentId: 2543239| | size: 75]]

WHAT ABOUT CAR PRANKS INVOLVING DORKS JUMPING OVER CARS? CAN THEY BE INFORMATIVE, EDUCATIONAL AND/OR WORTHY OF INCLUSION IN THE SMITHSONIAN?

Duh. Of course not. They can though, quite luckily we may add, be damn funny. Watch this nitwit try to jump over a car as he prepares for his Olympic tryout in the competitive field of “leaping chowder heads.”

[[contentId: 680816| | size: 75]]

Although this next piece doesn’t involve jumping over cars, it does include one of the all-time most popular elements of any prank in general. Yep, that’s right – the ever popular nut shot. Let this be a warning to you if you’re ever under a car trying to fix it. If you’re stupid enough to have friends who would actually do this to you, then you probably deserve it.

[[contentId: 1893709| | size: 75]]

ARE THERE GOOD CAR PRANKS INVOLVING GOLF BALLS?

Golf is one of those things that you think is either the greatest game in the world, or an elitist sport for assholes in ugly clothes. Either way, there is one good thing to do with golf balls, especially if you have a couple thousand extra lying around. Tiger Woods is rolling around in this grave, which is really the most amazing part of this video as last we checked, he wasn’t actually dead.

[[contentId: 88032| | size: 75]]

By Daniel Bernstein