Fake News Of the Day: The Buttsplosion

ED NOTE:  Looks like we got suckered on this too good to be true story.  Sadly, we like butts so much we didn’t fact check this beyond noticing that, say, dozens of media outlets reported on it.  They were as duped as we were.  Story never happened. But we’ll keep it here in memoriam because man, it’s a good one.

You’ve probably heard of butt implants over the last few years, they’re becoming as ubiquitous as breast implants but something about them seems a little more…mythical.  Like unicorns, you want to believe in them but at the same time you think they must not be real.   But they are real.  Women are seriously getting fakes asses out there, after years and years of women hating the idea of having a big ass. It’s an evolving esthetic of beauty we have, it really is.

As with all things, butt implants need to be respected.  Sure your ass can take a beating during the day, but if you have it jammed full of bags of soft goo, you need to be a little extra careful.  Such was not the case with Serena Beuford.  Or maybe she just had shady implants around back, we don’t know.  What we do know is that she was working out doing some squats when her ass exploded.  After a popping sound, Serena collapsed to the floor of the gym screaming that her butt was gone.

Right now the story is a mixture of sad and funny, right?  Like, you laugh at a friend who falls off the step even though maybe they got hurt because it’s human nature to find amusement in the misfortune of others.  Don’t feel bad, lots of people do it.  And also, the story is about to get a lot dumber.  Turns out Serena was filming herself at the time of her blowout.  This is relevant because she was making a video for Instagram, as Serena’s goal was to become famous on Instagram.  To that end, she had visited an unlicensed clinic to get her fake 64 inch butt.  That’s a big butt.  That’s a big, fake, illegitimate butt. 

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No matter what medical procedure you want, from a mole removal to butt implants to open heart surgery, you really need to make sure the doctor performing that procedure is operating legally and at a facility that meets proper standards.  Don’t go taking chances with your life, or your ass, for the sake of Instagram fame. Is there even such a thing as being famous on Instagram?  Like, famous enough to merit back alley butt surgery?

So real doctors say Serena is going to require some extensive surgery to fix the damage and there was extensive damage to her intestines, colon and rectum.  She’s now in a coma.  All of that to have a Nicki Minaj style butt for the sake of Instagram.