Burger King Paying For The “Burger- King” Wedding

Jay Leno’s big old head must be exploding as this sounds like something out of one of the bits he used to do grabbing whacky wedding announcements from local newspapers. He should “pull a Jay Leno” just to return to The Tonight Show to announce the “Burger- King” wedding.

No, the creepy Burger King mascot is not finally marrying Ronald McDonald; a couple in New Berlin, Illinois named Joel Burger and Ashley King are tying the knot and hopefully a few of those paper Burger King crowns around their heads. It’s the “Burger- King” wedding!

Wait, is that a PRETZEL on your shirt, Joel?! Are you cheating on her with Auntie Anne?!!

That’s because after their engagement photos in front of a Burger King went viral this week, and a local reporter reached out to the company– Burger King the Whopper maker has offered to pay for the Burger-King wedding. Score! So fellas named Carl, if you are dating a gal named “Junior” and were on the fence about taking the marriage plunge, you might want to consider the free wedding that might get thrown in from the folks at Carl’s Jr. Mr. Taco and Miss Bell?

I wonder if BK will be catering the entire wedding? So if you are lucky enough to get an invitation from the Burger-Kings when you RSVP you can choose between a dinner entree of either the chicken or the pink slime.

Chicken nuggets and BK Broilers for all your guests!

Burger King’s public relations firm reached out to the excited Ashely and Joel via Skype to tell them the news that the King would be grabbing the tab for the big day. The Burger-King wedding will be taking place, in Ashley’s parent’s house in Jacksonville this July; sadly not in a BK Playland as one would hope.

As King, can The Burger King perform wedding ceremonies? Or at least the night shift manager, like the captain of a ship?

The couple have known each other since they were in fifth grade, but started dating in college. Wait, you’re telling me there was a fifth grade class with a guy named Burger and a girl named King and they let these two survive without hating each other? “You guys should get married and it would be the Burger- King wedding! Aaaaah!”

While the couple did break with tradition for their wedding announcements; normally the lady’s name comes first; they listed Joel’s name first so it would read “Burger- King”. Unfortunately now her name will be “Ashley King Burger.” If their names had been flipped it would have been “Ashely Burger King.” – Damn you patriarchal society!

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: SJ-R