Burger King’s Black Whopper Is Doing Terrible Things To Customer’s Insides

Everyone is in a panic today. At least those people who have decided to load the canon and stand in front of it by eating Burger King’s Halloween themed Whopper. Apparently most people were shocked and horrified to find out that by eating the black-bunned Whopper, something terrible happens to your bowels; your sh*t turns green.

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As if the black Whopper was the first terrible food to ever turn a human’s poop green, most people were actually concerned about this fact not knowing what the health problem was…despite having just eaten a Whopper. However Burger King has yet to respond on this travesty because, well, they don’t really have to. Your poop is now green. Deal with it.

I personally think it’s sort of fitting to Whopper’s Halloween theme to begin with. Black is a Halloween color. Green is a Halloween color. If it were purple, I’d be fearful but maybe this was all apart of Burger King’s Halloween fun that goes beyond just muching on their new menu item and into the hours after you’ve had that last bite.

The green poop could also be the ghosts from meals past coming back to haunt you. Maybe this could be a scary story you could tell around the campfire: “So let this be a lesson to you all, when you take that first bite of the black bun Whopper, ole green poop is just waiting in the bowl to drag you in.”

Regardless, if you eat something gross, you’ll probably sh*t something gross. ‘Murica.