Budweiser Is Kicking Everyone’s Ass And Changing Its Name To “America!”

Budweiser, the self-proclaimed “King of Beers” is going to be changing its name on all of its cans this summer to “AMERICA.” The only thing the legendary beer brand forgot to add to the can is a new slogan: “FUCK YEAH!”

Today Budweiser’s Belgian parent company AB InBev announced that this summer from May 23rd through the US presidential election in November that it would distribute all cans of Budweiser with “America” packaging. The patriotic pandering will be part of a campaign titled “America in Your Hands.” (How did they know I call it America?)

And you know what? It works for us! Budweiser is the number one beer in the USA and why shouldn’t we get a can of our favorite beverage named after us? My only qualm is that they should have called it “‘Merica!” with a giant Bald Eagle clenching a couple of Buds in its talons as it waves the American Flag from its beak.

Freedom isn’t free. It’s $18.97 at Walmart.

After a long day of mowing acres of lawn, barbequing an entire pig and chopping wood with their shirt off, real Americans will wash down all that hard work with an ice cold can of America! America the beautiful, America the huge, America the Budweiser! When you think of America, you think of a real man’s beverage. Not some chocolate raspberry fondue stout with 9 percent alcohol by volume that will get you drunk faster like some kind of fancy European. No! Americans work hard for their buzz and they do it drinking a pale lager 12 ounces at a time! Nothing says America like Budweiser. So what other products remind you of a specific place? We took a look at a few:

Click here for more products renamed for where they are consumed!

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1.  AK47 Renamed “AK Arkansas”


2. Levi Skinny Jeans Renamed “Brooklyns”


3. Land Rover Renamed “Greenwich, Connecticut”


4. Ford F150 Renamed “Texas”


5. Windbreakers Renamed “San Francisco”


6. Yoga Pants Renamed “Los Angeles”


7. Chevrolet Corvette Renamed “Tampa Corvette”


8. Umbrellas Renamed “Seattle”


9. Google Glasses Renamed “Silicon Valley”


10. Entire L.L. Bean Catalogue Renamed “Maine”

What products would you rename to celebrate where they are used most?!

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney