18 Adult Merit Badges You’ve Definitely Earned

Forget how to build a campfire and helping old folks across the street; Here are awards of merit based on ridiculous behavior we often partake in as adults.

THE DRUNK BIKE RIDING BADGE. For merit in thinking it was ever a good idea to ride anything with wheels in the street while intoxicated.

THE ASS ON FIRE BADGE.  For merit in explosive diarrhea or the hot farts.

[[contentId: 2585006| | style: height:482px; width:484px]]

THE DRUNKEN FOOTBALL BADGE. For merit in thinking any sport drunk would not lead to bodily harm.

[[contentId: 2585007| | style: height:474px; width:474px]]

THE DRUNKEN WIFFLE BALL BADGE. For merit in having or simply knowing someone with a wiffle ball set, let alone the booze that goes with it.

[[contentId: 2585008| | style: height:485px; width:485px]]

THE WALK OF SHAME BADGE. For m–just, God bless you.

[[contentId: 2585009| | style: height:491px; width:491px]]

THE ATTACKED BY A SQUIRREL BADGE. For merit in surviving the possibility of having your genitals removed by the wrath of man’s enemy.

[[contentId: 2585010| | style: height:479px; width:509px]]

THE SKID MARK BADGE. For merit in being filthy.  Ladies, you have this too, we all know.

[[contentId: 2585011| | style: height:481px; width:481px]]

THE CRAPPING BY A TREE BADGE. For merit in doing exactly what you need to do…when you need to do it.

[[contentId: 2585012| | style: height:465px; width:465px]]

THE DRUNKEN SHOWERING BADGE. For merit in making showering WAY more interesting.

[[contentId: 2585013| | style: height:487px; width:479px]]

THE SEX IN A TENT BADGE. For merit in doing what horror movies told us exactly what not to do.

[[contentId: 2585014| | style: height:515px; width:499px]]

THE DRUNK WHILE CARRYING YOUR BABY BADGE. For merit in handling being a parent.  It’s not all roses like your facebook friends want you to think.

[[contentId: 2585015| | style: height:449px; width:449px]]

THE TEXTING DRUNK BADGE. For merit in thinking you’re not being an asshole to people at 4 in the morning.

[[contentId: 2585016| | style: height:484px; width:484px]]

THE BONG MADE FROM AN APPLE BADGE. For merit in making due with something other than a bong.

[[contentId: 2585017| | style: height:495px; width:495px]]

THE BROWN BAGGING IT BADGE. For merit in drinking like a hobo, you dirty hipster.

[[contentId: 2585018| | style: height:473px; width:473px]]

THE YOGA FARTS BADGE. For merit in putting spice onto that downward dog.

[[contentId: 2585019| | style: height:466px; width:466px]]

THE CROP-DUSTING BADGE.  For merit in farting around people that annoy you like a boss.

[[contentId: 2585020| | style: height:482px; width:482px]]

THE SNOT ROCKET BADGE. For merit in refusing to keep a sleeve clean.  You never walk away without shrapnel.

[[contentId: 2585021| | style: height:443px; width:443px]]

THE SCREWED YOURSELF BADGE. For merit in royally f’ing yourself over.  Way to go.

[[contentId: 2585022| | style: height:477px; width:477px]]

How many do you deserve?  Probably all of them, right?  I knew it.  Lucky for you can buy them from HERE.

So which badge do YOU think is missing?  Personally, I deserve a nice “crapping with the door open” badge.