A Trading Card Tribute To Truly Bizarre Human Barbie Dolls

Every day, absurd people and events assault the Internet with their absurdity. But with the constant flood of information sprayed at us, they’re gone the very next day, clawing their way down our Facebook feeds and back into obscurity. That’s why we at Break have started this collection of Internet Trading Cards.



These are our way of permanently honoring those superstars who take insanity and ridiculousness to the next level. Collect and trade them with your friends! This week we are featuring two women who fluttered through our lives in their attempt at becoming living Barbie dolls, each with their own special take on mental instability.


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Women have complained about the unattainable physical proportions encouraged by Barbie dolls, but Valeria Lukyanova has proven that you can achieve them with enough surgery, starvation, and -apparently- faith in Cosmic Space Gods.


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Eating air? Trusting space aliens? It doesn’t get much dumber than that, right? Wait until you meet Blondie Bennett.


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Blondie exploded on the Internet in February, 2014 thanks to her need for attention at any cost. It’s not unusual for a woman to remanufacture her face and body exclusively for a life of sex with old men, but the idea of using hypnosis to medically make yourself stupider? That was something special.


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If you built a time machine to go back and trick your own pregnant mother into eating anal thermometers, that would be a better plan than paying a hypnotherapist to make you retarded. So Blondie, if your goal here is to be stupid, we have some really great news for you.