Someone Created The Boob Rudolph Pasty Because Christmas Sweaters Are Boring

Every year we all have to endure invites to various Christmas parties but not all of us can afford a nice suit or fancy dress in order to not show up to the party like a slouch. That’s probably why someone created these Boob Rudolph pasties in order to transform your body into something merry while still being able to wear whatever the hell you want (because no one will be looking at whatever the hell you’re wearing anyway since your Rudolph boob is out).

Created and sold by Etsy seller “Your Sassy Grandma”, it’s a wonder this item isn’t readily available at your nearest retailer. Who wouldn’t enjoy seeing a friendly red-nosed mammary walking through the room as Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer plays on the victrola?

The item itself is only $24.99 but from the looks of it, you could probably just find a craft store and make it yourself. Or just draw the damn thing on while covering up your nip with a bow. The bow being optional of course since nipples are already reddish anyway.

Luckily for us dudes, the maker of the Boob Rudolph created something for us guys so we didn’t feel left out. In our case however, we don’t get a nice Rudolph nose pasty but instead a sweater with a hole cut into it with a few random appliances. You know what, this one here we could definitely just make at home, especially once you find out the below item is $43.99.

He knows zero people at this party.

But if you are looking to spend some money on some ridiculous Christmas gifts and/or wanna make a big booze-filled splash at your next Christmas party with your lady parts hanging out, you can find all of these items and more at Your Sassy Grandma’s Etsy page. Now if only there were some items for our junk and buttcracks.