Woman Gets Dumped, Decides To Marry Her Cats

It seems like, for the most part, everyone reaches a point in their lives where they feel the need to share it with someone else.  This leads to marriage, and it’s a cornerstone of how our society works, right?  For the most part.

For Barbarella Buchner, happiness didn’t show up with a man attached.  After ending a 7 year relationship with a man, Buchner realized who she was really happy with – her cats.

Buchner has decided she gets all the companionship and emotional fulfillment she needs from her cats.  So much so that she even married her two male cats in a ceremony because why not make it look vaguely official?

Buchner says she adopted the two cats, Lugosi and Spider, 10 years ago, and put careful consideration into her choice.  She said she could tell the love she felt between her and the cats was genuine because of how they purred and rubbed back against her fingers.  God willing no one ever tells her every cat in every pet store around the world will do that if you pet them.

According to Buchner after her and her last boyfriend broke up, she suffered separation anxiety and cried for weeks, but the cats never left her side.  That’s how she realized her love for her “fur babies” was deeper than any love she felt for a human.  Go on, sigh a little.  It’s OK.

Ahh, the commemorative marriage tattoo

Somehow even more bizarre than this story as a whole is that, in 2004, Buchner started looking for ways to legitimately marry her cats – and found a website called MarryYourPet.  But that’s all it takes for some people, so she signed up to follow their strict rules like “don’t abuse your pet” and then paid them about $30.  They sent her a certificate saying she was married.  And they’ve been happy together ever since.

Cheater!

Buchner joins a long, esteemed list of people who have married non-humans over the years, such as 27 year old Liu Ye who married himself, an Indian lady who married a snake in 2006 and Erika La Tour who married the Eiffel Tower.  Like a champ.