Avril Lavigne: The Hottest Skater

AVRIL LAVIGNE IN BED

Do you like Canadian women with an edge? You know the kind – sort of sexy, sort of not at all sexy, and very bad at spelling? Even their own first name seems like a typo for the month known for lots of showers. Her music? Well, to be kind, it’s not as horrible as fellow Canadian Justin Bieber’s music. Well, that skater=friendly hoser known as Avril Lavigne might not be your first choice for your ipod shuffle or for your life line if you need to check spelling, but she does have a rather sexy body. Sexy enough that we here are doggedly determined to find out the what, where and why as to how our beloved readers can check her out naked. So put on a helmet, grab some elbow pads and get ready to find out

WHERE CAN I SEE AVRIL LAVIGNE NUDE?

Although Ms. Lavigne is about as shy as the typical cheerleader after having being dosed with truth serum, she has never really done any authorized nudity. Then again, when you’ve been in the public eye as long as she has, exposure is almost second nature. A few years back, a playful jaunt at the beach turned into a nip slip fiesta. Here’s a safe picture from that day:

AVRIL LAVIGNE IN WATER WITH HAT

Of course, the ones with a lot more skin are much more fun and to the point of today’s exercise in seein’ Lavigne. Enjoy these.

AVRIL LAVIGNE IN BLACK

She clearly isn’t averse to nip slip action, as another paparazzi caught her sunning on a yacht in St. Tropez. Seriously – what a cliché! Here’s a picture that won’t get you busted at work from that covert photo session.

AVRIL LAVIGNE PINK BIKINI

Of course, the ones including the aforementioned nip slip are more fun to look at. Go ahead – here they are.

AVRIL LAVIGNE GREEN

IS THERE AN AVRIL LAVIGNE SEX TAPE FLOATING AROUND OUT THERE?

In 2008, a video purporting to be the singer made its way across the interwebs, but by most accounts it seems to be a fake. Sorry to bust your bubble. Then again, you can always go track down other fake sex tapes – our favorite is the one with Dame Judy Dench getting it on with a chimp named Billy.

AVRIL LAVIGNE PINK

DOES AVRIL LAVIGNE HAVE A GREAT BODY?

Great is a truly subjective word, but the never shy Avril can offer a good answer to this question. “I have to fight to keep my image really me…. I rejected some gorgeous publicity shots because they just didn’t look like me. I won’t wear skanky clothes that show my booty, my belly or my boobs. I have a great body.”

AVRIL LAVIGNE LACE

WHAT IS IT ABOUT AVRIL LAVIGNE’S SEXUAL TALENTS THAT ARE SO AMAZING?

Well, that is not something we can personally answer. However, we can put on our Sherlock Holmes hat and do some deductive reasoning. Her husband, Chad Kroeger of the really crappy Canadian band Nickelback, has said in the past that he can perform oral sex on himself. While it is true that most men who could do this would probably never leave their own rooms, he has both managed to leave his room and to make lots of bad music for the world to hear. Plus, we can safely assume Avril’s Linda Lovelace imitation must be pretty damn good.

AVRIL LAVIGNE BLACK SIDE BOOB

HAS AVRIL LAVIGNE UTTERED SOME OF THE DUMBEST QUOTES OF HER GENERATION? IF SO, DID SHE SAY THEM WHILE SHE WAS NAKED?

In all fairness, her generation is loaded with dumb people spouting dumb quotes. That said, this one is almost divine in its degree of idiocy. “I created Punk for this day and age. Do you see Britney walking around wearing ties and singing punk? Hell no. That’s what I do. I’m like a Sid Vicious for a new generation.” We don’t know exactly what she was wearing when she said that, but clearly she wasn’t wearing her thinking cap.

AVRIL LAVIGNE WITH BOTTLE

WERE THERE NAKED PICTURES OF AVRIL LAVIGNE LEAKED AS PART OF THE NOTORIOUS FAPPENING SCANDAL OF 2014?

Avril was one of dozens of celebs who had their accounts hacked into, and many unauthorized photos of her were indeed leaked. None of them are too scandalous, although there are a few with what seems to be her boobies. There’s really no point in looking at them for multiple reasons. Not only are they not particularly hot, they are also part of a theft that genuinely crossed the moral line. Better that these Lavignes are unseen, know what I mean?