Best Job Ever? Brothel Buster

The sex industry in Australia is booming but there are rules.  If you want to run a brothel or a massage parlor, you can’t just get 4 girls in the back room of a Denny’s and hope it works out disease-free.  There are licenses and inspections and all sorts of guidelines that are supposed to be followed.  But hey, the sex industry is the oldest industry we have next to farming, so it’s pretty good at figuring out how to work against all odds.  And that’s where John comes in.

John’s job, as a sex industry private investigator, is to get sexed.  If he can go into an establishment that is unlicensed and get a handjob, he’s proven the business is in violation of the law.  It’s like sending in a kid undercover to buy smokes at the local corner store, only this time it’s so much more awesome for John.

Although he doesn’t tell a lot of people about his job, or tell how much he gets paid, except to say he’s not driving a Porsche,  he is expected to head to massage parlors and see how many happy endings are on the menu and, unlike in American TV shows where just offering it gets you arrested, John sees the whole thing through to the end. 

John isn’t working 9-5, that’d kill a man, he’s just called upon every few weeks to aid in an investigation if another business opens and it’s suspected to offer illegal services.  John heads in, and it’s usually a massage parlor, and finds out what’s on the menu.  If he can have sex, he’ll have sex, but, as he says, it’s usually just a quick HJ so they can toss him out and move on to the next guy.  How many places like this exist in Australia?  According to John, it’s harder to find a legit massage parlor than a shady one.  He says he’s only been to about three that actually stopped their services at a massage.

As you can imagine, some tax payers are a little offended by the idea of the government hiring a dude to bang prostitutes, but the government stands behind its decision by pointing out the best way to prove there are illegal activities going on is to get someone to fully engage in those illegal activities.  Once they have it in the bag, having someone like John testify in court can shut a business down, and this in turn helps limit much larger issues related to sex trafficking.    If everything’s legal and above board, it’s safer for both customers and the women involved.