Have you ever been to the point of weight gain that you thought, "Man, I wish there was some sort of robot that I could shove into my stomach so the two Big Mac's I just ate could literally be pumped out through a tube." If so, you are in luck my friend.
The piece of new technology designed to do all of your self-control for you is called AspireAssist. Made in the UK, it has actually started to help the people that allowed themselves to be test subjects for the people who created AspireAssist, with everyone seeing perfect results after about 14 months. But how does it work? Only two thirds of the calories from each meal are absorbed with the rest being pumped through a tube when the eater is supposed to then dump the machine's contents into a toilet. Or back on your plate, depending on your mood.
Check out how it works with this animated video that's not nearly as grotesque as the real thing.
Welp, only one thing left to do.
The product itself has divided the scientific community morally, stating that this only encourages over-eating instead of teaching people the fact that it's okay to just eat an apple every once in a while instead of a second plate of pasta. Other scientists that do have reservations regarding the AspireAssist say that if it does help people who can't help themselves, that's at least a start.
Personally, I'd like to have an AspireAssist to pump out memories from my brain after some of the weird crap I've seen on the internet. In the meantime, pass the Oreos! The AspireAssist will be available to all customers this September in Europe.