Ask An EMT: What Happened To This Guy’s Nuts?

When Mark ran the food gauntlet a couple weeks ago, we had an EMT on hand just in case things went bad. It turns out, our medic, Chris, was awesome, going so far as to suggest we prank all of our co-workers at the end of the challenge by having Mark pretend to collapse behind our counter (we didn’t). We decided to have him back to answer all of our burning medical questions about viral videos. This week’s video for Ask An EMT? “Boom Goes That Guy’s Crotch!”

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“Boom Goes That Guy’s Crotch,” uploaded by JJ ALLIN

I sent Chris this week’s video, and his first instinct was the same as most of yours tend to be. FAKE!

… To be honest, my guess is it’s fake in the nature that he set himself up to purposely land on the fence the way he did and that he might have been wearing a cup…unless he’s just a complete moron and doesn’t mind having his sac swell up to the size of a softball due to significant blunt force trauma of the scrotum.

This could’ve been that guy’s scrotum.

I think it’s entirely plausible that he’s a complete moron who who wouldn’t mind having his sac swollen so let’s assume, just for the sake of argument, that this is real.

Assuming this was real, upon assessment of the patient, one of the things I would ask him would be, “On a scale of 1 – 10, 10 being the worst pain you’ve ever felt, what is your pain level right now?” I’m sure he’d go with the almighty 11. Everyone knows that the male genitalia is very sensitive, so for him to go and smash it down onto a pole could cause some serious damage along the lines of ruptured testicle, tearing of the scrotum, hematoma forming on the perineum, which with the build up of fluid could lead to perineal hernia.

Ruptured testical– the only pic I could find that wouldn’t induce vomiting.

That sounds pretty awful, but let’s take it one step further. Let’s say this is real but it didn’t go as planned. What could have happened?

I guess the yellow tubing that is there to cover the spikes on the top of a chain link could have fallen off or, better, the spikes could have penetrated through the plastic cover and gone into his scrotum, perineum, or anus. I could only imagine the severe bleeding that would occur in that case…

So that’s the worst case. What about the best case?

Well… I think what could have gone wrong, did. No one wants to land on their testicles…well unless you’re THIS guy– hah! I’m not sure of the aftermath of the stunt this kid pulled but I’d say no matter what, he had a bad day.

So there you have it straight from our medic, Chris. I know you guys must have questions about a million of the videos we’ve posted in the past. Why don’t you tell us in the comments which one you’d like Chris to look at for the next Ask An EMT?

Chris Manley is a nationally registered EMT with five years’ experience in emergency response.